The OFFICIAL "You might be a Hacker if...." thread!

YMBAH if...

...you have a bagpiper at your Christian school's graduation even though the school nickname is "The Eagles"...

...if said bagpiper is required to wear pants underneath his kilt...
 
YMBAH if...........

you call the church kids in your youth group the Swordsmen and the bus kids the Switchbladers.
 
YMBAH if...........

you require a man to read the Scripture before you preach.  You have him announce the page in the Scofield Reference Bible even though no one in the congregation (including the guy reading the Scripture) uses a Scofield Bible.
 
YMBAH if..........

you are preaching at a youth conference and you shout, "I find Paul appealing and Peale appalling!!"  After the service every teen asks their youth leader, "What in the world was he talking about?"
 
YMBAH if..........

You narrowed down the possible authors of the book of Hebrews to:
[list type=decimal]
[*]Jack Hyles
[*]John R. Rice
[*]The Apostle Paul
[/list]
...in that order.
 
Citadel of Truth said:
YMBAH if..........

You narrowed down the possible authors of the book of Hebrews to:
[list type=decimal]
[*]Jack Hyles
[*]John R. Rice
[*]The Apostle Paul
[/list]
...in that order.
Click to expand...

Nicely done!
 
RAIDER said:
fishinnut said:
YMBAH if........You are the pastor of the church holding the ladies conference. You are to address the ladies for the final message. One hour before you are to preach you call your assistant pastor and tell him you have no idea what to preach and ask him if he has a message already prepared that he could use. The message receives rave reviews because of the preparation of your assistant. Your wife even thinks that it was your message but that assistant still knows. ::)
Click to expand...

I lost you on that one.
Click to expand...
I was the assistant. ::)
 
At the beginning of every sermon you say, "Turn in your Bibles, turn anywhere it's all good..."
 
You have 1 microphone, and your 9 year old is sitting at the soundcontrols. You say PA men, PA men, check my treble.
 
Tennessean said:
You have 1 microphone, and your 9 year old is sitting at the soundcontrols. You say PA men, PA men, check my treble.
Click to expand...

Love it!!  :)
 
YMBAH if..........

before you preach you say, "Brother Randy, adjust the settings to 42-42-3".
 
YMBAH if............

you yell at a lady during preaching and tell her to take her baby to the nursery.  The lady is your wife.
 
YMBAH if..........


you hocked your wife's wedding ring to pay for a Baptist City bill.
 
YMBAH if.............

your teeth and the carpet in the old FBC auditorium are the same color.
 
YMBAH if..............

you wear wingtips when you play basketball.
 
YMBAH if...............

you've ever fallen asleep during preaching while waving your Bible.
 
RAIDER said:
YMBAH if...............

you've ever fallen asleep during preaching while waving your Bible.
Click to expand...

Brother, I am glad that you finally got right with God and started this thread. There will no doubt be many generations of HACkers that will benefit from this fine masterpiece.
 
RAIDER said:
YMBAH if..........


you hocked your wife's wedding ring to pay for a Baptist City bill.
Click to expand...

Who did this?

This sounds like a good story. Do tell
 
YMBAH if..........

your church has one bus and one CDL driver.  He has a crew cut but you tell him he can't drive the bus because his hair is blocked and not tapered.
 
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