Tales from the Tunnels

[Bravo]

Tennessean, you're killing me here...

The thing about it is it's all true.

Although the hours changed as the years went by the night bus remained unpredictable.

You can't make up the stuff that happened,... Or the stuff that sometimes we ourselves did lol.

 

[RAIDER]

A famous "night bus preacher boy move" was to pound your fist on the ceiling while you preached.  I can still see Roger Casteel yelling with his face beet red while pounding on the bus ceiling. 

I remember one idiot....I mean Hacker, that grabbed the broom and started pounding the end of it on the ceiling to make a point.  Of course he was placing dents in the ceiling of a bus that FBCH rented. 

 

[16KJV11]

Giving Your All ;D

I have tried to make it a life policy to never hold a grudge regarding anything anyone did while they were in college. Why? Because we all did stupid things while in college. We said things and we did things that we hope never see the light of day, and most didn’t achieve maturity until at least their mid twenties. Hey, there probably was a reason in the Bible that Isaac & Rebecca didn’t let Jacob date until he was 70.

But if you want to know where most of the young Baptist immature morons went, it was Hyles Anderson College. We earned the word Hacker honestly. So if you hear of something really stupid that one of us did while in college, we deserve to be forgiven. That being said, the stories are still funny, even if their on us.

So let me share this one with you. The subject of this story still serves the Lord and is raising his family in good independent fundamental Baptist Church. So I have to use another name for him. We’ll call him Horace.

As a bus worker, I didn’t like riding the night bus. What was the night bus? Glad you asked. The normal day for a HAC student who was a bus worker at FBC Hammond began anywhere from 3 a.m. to 6 a.m. on Sunday morning and lasted all day. You would think it ended when the Sunday evening service ended at about 9 p.m. But no, there was more. In most bus divisions the men were expected to reboard the buses and take the teenagers and adults back to Chicago. Those workers didn’t get back to the college till about 1 a.m. Monday morning. Every division leader wanted all his people on those busses late Sunday night so a good bit of his preaching to his division centered on riding the night bus. If you didn’t ride then your division leader would try to find you on Monday and demand a reason for your absence. Most division leaders were very good at putting a guilt trip on you and making you feel very, very bad.

As I said, I didn’t like riding the night bus so I generally I didn’t. My division leader was a master of pressure, but for 2 years when it came to the night bus, I didn’t budge. My 3rd year in his division, he started not riding the night bus either, and passed the responsibility of running the night bus to a young man named Marty Braemer. Now Marty was a ball of energy and a lot of fun to be around. And rather than browbeat, he asked me as a friend to ride and I did. And I can say, it was an all right experience. Marty does know how to run a service. Teenagers, adults, Marty got them all involved in a pretty good service.

The schedule was kind of like this. We would leave church in Hammond packed in a bus after the evening service. There was a preaching service on the way to Chicago. Bus captains and bus workers were dispatched to take the riders home. Then, finally all preacher boys in a division would gather back on one bus and would preach to each other. It was always interesting and you never knew what would happen. For example the guy that picked buggers off a frozen window preached an 8 week series on knowing the will of God. There was a sermon by one bus captain about how the devil was his most faithful bus worker, and Rick Burns preached a sermon about sweeping the bus where he grabbed a broom and just rammed the end of it into the ceiling repeatedly while he screamed. So get the idea, preaching, anything goes.

Now this is where the story begins.

One late Sunday night all was done. All riders were dropped off and I settled back in my seat half-way back hoping for a quick ride back to the college. I also had half a sack lunch I had saved all day and was hoping to eat it quietly. The preaching began. I think 5 of the bus captains preached, then the other guys could preach.  Horace jumped up. Horace began his sermon by imploring us all to give. “Our bus kids need everything, we should give them our all,” he said. Ok good thought. I was starting to feel a bit under conviction from hoarding my lunch and not sharing it.

Horace decided to run with the thought of “giving it my all.” As he preached about total selfless giving he whipped off his suit jacket. He screamed something and whirled it in the air like a lasso. Then he threw it at the crowd. He must have thought something was working because a little later he stopped screaming,  took off his tie and shouted, “I’m giving my all.” As the sermon got a little hotter Horace unbuttoned his white dress shirt and tossed it to the crowd. (yes, it was a standard hacker shirt with yellow stains in the armpits)

Horace should have stopped there. But he didn’t. As he was preaching he took off his pants. He waved them, and tossed them to the crowd. Then he ended the sermon by removing his undershirt. I had never seen a guy preach in his underwear before and hope I never do again. That kind of ended the service. Marty was speechless. We all were. That ended my night bus experience. In later years when asked to ride a night bus I just said, “No, no, no.”

Wow, I am speechless!  This is the night bus story to end all night bus stories!  Did that bus captain happen to be John/Mark, alias Bob Marley?

 

[fishinnut]

John Mark once told a story about a guy preaching on the night bus, that preached the whole time in front of the guys with the tail of his shirt sticking out the zipper of his pants!

And the problem is.........? 

Since Raider is such a Carson connoisseur  & has no problem with the zipper story above, I present:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9xKU8eYCFk

 

[kaba]

Giving Your All ;D

I have tried to make it a life policy to never hold a grudge regarding anything anyone did while they were in college. Why? Because we all did stupid things while in college. We said things and we did things that we hope never see the light of day, and most didn’t achieve maturity until at least their mid twenties. Hey, there probably was a reason in the Bible that Isaac & Rebecca didn’t let Jacob date until he was 70.

But if you want to know where most of the young Baptist immature morons went, it was Hyles Anderson College. We earned the word Hacker honestly. So if you hear of something really stupid that one of us did while in college, we deserve to be forgiven. That being said, the stories are still funny, even if their on us.

So let me share this one with you. The subject of this story still serves the Lord and is raising his family in good independent fundamental Baptist Church. So I have to use another name for him. We’ll call him Horace.

As a bus worker, I didn’t like riding the night bus. What was the night bus? Glad you asked. The normal day for a HAC student who was a bus worker at FBC Hammond began anywhere from 3 a.m. to 6 a.m. on Sunday morning and lasted all day. You would think it ended when the Sunday evening service ended at about 9 p.m. But no, there was more. In most bus divisions the men were expected to reboard the buses and take the teenagers and adults back to Chicago. Those workers didn’t get back to the college till about 1 a.m. Monday morning. Every division leader wanted all his people on those busses late Sunday night so a good bit of his preaching to his division centered on riding the night bus. If you didn’t ride then your division leader would try to find you on Monday and demand a reason for your absence. Most division leaders were very good at putting a guilt trip on you and making you feel very, very bad.

As I said, I didn’t like riding the night bus so I generally I didn’t. My division leader was a master of pressure, but for 2 years when it came to the night bus, I didn’t budge. My 3rd year in his division, he started not riding the night bus either, and passed the responsibility of running the night bus to a young man named Marty Braemer. Now Marty was a ball of energy and a lot of fun to be around. And rather than browbeat, he asked me as a friend to ride and I did. And I can say, it was an all right experience. Marty does know how to run a service. Teenagers, adults, Marty got them all involved in a pretty good service.

The schedule was kind of like this. We would leave church in Hammond packed in a bus after the evening service. There was a preaching service on the way to Chicago. Bus captains and bus workers were dispatched to take the riders home. Then, finally all preacher boys in a division would gather back on one bus and would preach to each other. It was always interesting and you never knew what would happen. For example the guy that picked buggers off a frozen window preached an 8 week series on knowing the will of God. There was a sermon by one bus captain about how the devil was his most faithful bus worker, and Rick Burns preached a sermon about sweeping the bus where he grabbed a broom and just rammed the end of it into the ceiling repeatedly while he screamed. So get the idea, preaching, anything goes.

Now this is where the story begins.

One late Sunday night all was done. All riders were dropped off and I settled back in my seat half-way back hoping for a quick ride back to the college. I also had half a sack lunch I had saved all day and was hoping to eat it quietly. The preaching began. I think 5 of the bus captains preached, then the other guys could preach.  Horace jumped up. Horace began his sermon by imploring us all to give. “Our bus kids need everything, we should give them our all,” he said. Ok good thought. I was starting to feel a bit under conviction from hoarding my lunch and not sharing it.

Horace decided to run with the thought of “giving it my all.” As he preached about total selfless giving he whipped off his suit jacket. He screamed something and whirled it in the air like a lasso. Then he threw it at the crowd. He must have thought something was working because a little later he stopped screaming,  took off his tie and shouted, “I’m giving my all.” As the sermon got a little hotter Horace unbuttoned his white dress shirt and tossed it to the crowd. (yes, it was a standard hacker shirt with yellow stains in the armpits)

Horace should have stopped there. But he didn’t. As he was preaching he took off his pants. He waved them, and tossed them to the crowd. Then he ended the sermon by removing his undershirt. I had never seen a guy preach in his underwear before and hope I never do again. That kind of ended the service. Marty was speechless. We all were. That ended my night bus experience. In later years when asked to ride a night bus I just said, “No, no, no.”

Wow, I am speechless!  This is the night bus story to end all night bus stories!  Did that bus captain happen to be John/Mark, alias Bob Marley?

NO IT WAS NOT JOHN MARK/BOB MARLEY!!!!!!!!

 

[Tennessean]

Split Chapel

The highlight of every day at Hyles Anderson College was the Chapel service. Many memories were made and many stories will be told about that most important of hours. But one of the unique experiences at Hyles Anderson College was Split Chapel. Once a month men and ladies were divided into a gender only chapel service. Gender only, i.e. split, chapels were a way to address issues that were particular to the gender. The ladies session was led by the Dean of Women, Dr. Marlene Evans, and her Assistant Dean of Women, Carol Frye, and Miss Frye’s very large staff of assistants. There was a picture in one of the yearbooks of a women’s split chapel. Carol Frye, her assistants, and all the inner circle Fryeites were on the platform. Maybe the ladies on this forum can share what great truths they learned from these women.  ;D

In the early years the men’s split chapel was a large meeting of all the men led by the Dean of Men. After Mr. Meister left, the men were split along other lines. The 3 dorm supervisors had the men from their dorms in separate services and the off campus men met with the Dean of Men. I was a resident of Prophets 2nd floor (which later became Malone 2) which meant I attended split chapel in Liberty Square led by Mr. Duke Morales.

Morales’ split chapel were enjoyable for the most part. While there were stories that in his chapel Roger Casteel would make guys stand up and scream at them, that was not the case with Mr. Morales. We would sing a song, pray and then he would attend to business. Topics such as checking your pockets for ink pens when you do your laundry, giving a guy $1 when he provided you a ride somewhere, not criticizing the administration, (and especially Bro. Hyles) and flushing the toilet after you used it were topics brought up frequently.

Then the special guest would speak. In our case that was mostly Mr. Phil Sallie. Mr. Sallie was an ex-tobacco salesman who helped students find jobs. (More about Phil Sallie later) First thing I ever heard Sallie say publically was, “Boys, I don’t smoke as much as I used to.” Sallie would make some announcement and give an encouraging word and then the preaching would start. When Morales didn’t preach, he would get Bill Grady or Jack Patterson to speak. They were great to listen to. Bro. Grady once preached on, “Barak, the biggest wimp in the Bible.” And once, Bro. Grady and Patterson tag teamed and both preached on the same subject. Patterson had that swag when he preached and I actually looked forward to split chapel.

Bro. Morales was a good guy who didn’t get the recognition he  probably should have. He understood living in a dorm and knew how to be harsh and lenient when necessary. When you were wrong, he was tough as nails and could chew you a new one. But he was forgiving and willing to work with guys who were truly sincere. Many guys stayed in school and are probably in the ministry today because of Duke Morales.

 

[16KJV11]

Split Chapel

The highlight of every day at Hyles Anderson College was the Chapel service. Many memories were made and many stories will be told about that most important of hours. But one of the unique experiences at Hyles Anderson College was Split Chapel. Once a month men and ladies were divided into a gender only chapel service. Gender only, i.e. split, chapels were a way to address issues that were particular to the gender. The ladies session was led by the Dean of Women, Dr. Marlene Evans, and her Assistant Dean of Women, Carol Frye, and Miss Frye’s very large staff of assistants. There was a picture in one of the yearbooks of a women’s split chapel. Carol Frye, her assistants, and all the inner circle Fryeites were on the platform. Maybe the ladies on this forum can share what great truths they learned from these women.  ;D

In the early years the men’s split chapel was a large meeting of all the men led by the Dean of Men. After Mr. Meister left, the men were split along other lines. The 3 dorm supervisors had the men from their dorms in separate services and the off campus men met with the Dean of Men. I was a resident of Prophets 2nd floor (which later became Malone 2) which meant I attended split chapel in Liberty Square led by Mr. Duke Morales.

Morales’ split chapel were enjoyable for the most part. While there were stories that in his chapel Roger Casteel would make guys stand up and scream at them, that was not the case with Mr. Morales. We would sing a song, pray and then he would attend to business. Topics such as checking your pockets for ink pens when you do your laundry, giving a guy $1 when he provided you a ride somewhere, not criticizing the administration, (and especially Bro. Hyles) and flushing the toilet after you used it were topics brought up frequently.

Then the special guest would speak. In our case that was mostly Mr. Phil Sallie. Mr. Sallie was an ex-tobacco salesman who helped students find jobs. (More about Phil Sallie later) First thing I ever heard Sallie say publically was, “Boys, I don’t smoke as much as I used to.” Sallie would make some announcement and give an encouraging word and then the preaching would start. When Morales didn’t preach, he would get Bill Grady or Jack Patterson to speak. They were great to listen to. Bro. Grady once preached on, “Barak, the biggest wimp in the Bible.” And once, Bro. Grady and Patterson tag teamed and both preached on the same subject. Patterson had that swag when he preached and I actually looked forward to split chapel.

Bro. Morales was a good guy who didn’t get the recognition he  probably should have. He understood living in a dorm and knew how to be harsh and lenient when necessary. When you were wrong, he was tough as nails and could chew you a new one. But he was forgiving and willing to work with guys who were truly sincere. Many guys stayed in school and are probably in the ministry today because of Duke Morales.

Wasn't Bro. Morales an Air Force officer?

 

[Tennessean]

I Said To Clean Your Bathroom

It was the fall of 1990 and there was a new supervisor on Malone 2nd floor. His name was Mike Goodall. When I was a student and a younger man I didn’t like Mike Goodall and said so. Years tend to bring maturity and understanding so while I then did not like living in a dorm supervised by Mr. Goodall, now I do not want to say anything bad about him. I like to think that now I understand a little what he was going through. Let’s just say that being a good preacher and a good ministry worker does not always transfer over to running a dorm. Most of us on here couldn’t run one of those dorms either. Imagine having to supervise 300 young men, with a large minority bent on doing whatever evil they could. So about 3 months in, it seemed Mr. Goodall was in over his head. Looking back in hindsight I think part of the problem was that Mr. Goodall was tasked by the administration to carry out unpopular policies. When Goodall came aboard the administration instituted new rules for the men, and Goodall had to carry them out. Even though someone else made the rules, Goodall had to make sure they were carried out, and give demerits to those who didn’t obey the rules. This made Mr. Goodall unpopular.

The changes I remember from 1990 were pretty big ones. And they  were all based on money. First, every employee of the church, college, and schools got a $1000 raise. So not wanting to increase tuition too terribly the administration had to find ways to offset costs. That brought about the second change which was a new insurance policy. The college found out that by eliminating the use of irons in the dormitories they would save thousands. So students were no longer allowed to iron their clothes in their rooms. You had to take your iron and ironing board to a room at the end of the hall set up for that purpose. They also outlawed the use of extension cords. That may not seem big to us now but that was awful back then. Forget that it terribly inconvenienced your students.

But there was a 3rd change. Up to this point the college had provided a work scholarship job for a man on every dorm floor to clean that dorm floor. He would vacuum, take out the trash and clean the bathrooms. When they started looking for ways to save money they realized that there were 7 men on 7 dorm floors who could be paying them room and board, so they eliminated those work scholarship cleaning jobs. But that left no one to clean the bathrooms. Someone got the idea that the men on each floor could clean their own bathrooms. And that’s where the problems started.

The new plan was that each week a different room on the dorm floor would divide up the jobs and clean the bathrooms, vacuum, and take out the trash. Each man was assigned a responsibility. Don’t do your responsibility and you get 5 demerits. If you didn’t do your duties for a week you got 25 demerits. Most men went to class and then worked a full time job. So the prospect of coming back to your dorm and cleaning for an hour after midnight was not appealing. 25 demerits was a small price to pay for 5 extra hours of sleep. So most took the demerits.

With no one cleaning the bathrooms and emptying trash you can imagine how bad things became. The administration noticed the smell. They came down hard on Goodall. Goodall was beside himself. He came down on the students. He would threaten, he would give demerits, he would scream, and guys brushed him off. He was getting some serious heat from the administration and the guys weren’t cooperating.

The week came when our room had to clean. I got stuck cleaning 6 toilet stalls. I got some rubber gloves, a stack of ragged towels from the dining hall that they were throwing away, and a bottle of window cleaner. Oh, I forgot to mention we had to provide our own cleaning supplies. I sprayed everything down with Windex, wiped it, mopped the floor, threw the towels away and I was done. The toilets weren’t disinfected, but they looked clean and smelled clean. Goodall was so happy he almost threw me a party.

But things weren’t so good elsewhere. All the men’s dorm smelled. Really bad. Something had to be done. They had lower level staff guys preach in chapel and split chapel on attitude. No change. They had upper level staff guys preach on griping. The sin of griping. Murmuring. No change. Something big had to be done.

So a special split chapel was called. All the men met in the gymnasium. As we began our singing Dr. Evans walked in. That made it a special service because Dr. Evans never came to split chapel. He stood to preach. His sermon was about cleaning the dormitory bathrooms. He preached on the duties of cleanliness. The responsibilities of cleanliness. The need for cleanliness. “Yes,” he said, “we did take away the work scholarship men who cleaned, and increased your tuition and room and board, but that’s no excuse for you not to pick up the slack. You must do your part.” It was a great sermon.

One of the stranger students that year was a fellow I only remember as “Call the dog a dog.” In most services as a sermon was really getting hot he would scream, “Call the dog a dog, preacherrrrrrrr.” He was known far and wide and had changed the mood of many a service..

So as Dr. Evans was winding down to an invitation he made the statement, “Your bathrooms in your dormitories are so atrocious, so foul, so filthy, so disgusting. What would happen if your mothers would see the filthy conditions you are living in?” Out of nowhere, old ‘Call the Dog a Dog’ yelled out, “God help us.” There was dead silence. But Dr. Evans didn’t miss a beat. He responded, “God cannot help you, but you can help yourselves.” It was one of those moments. Never to be forgotten.

 

[Fun1]

I could tell a few tales myself, some of them actually even happened in the vicinity of said tunnels.....

A friend messaged me this morning and asked me if I had seen the "new" FFF.  Not too many hours later I found myself giggling as I read through the posts.....I forgot how funny some of our memories actually are.  After spending to many years aggravated at my college roots, I think I will own my Hackerness and look back and laugh out loud.  Why not?  Shoot, it took me long enough to earn that stupid title!  Hello, my name is Fun1 and I AM a Hacker. 

 

[WESLEY]

Funny Split Chapel Memory....

Paul Kruse was a dorm supe in one of the men's dorms, the John Rice dorms.  I will never forget hearing him rant and rave about putting your socks away

All said, he's a great guy!  He always had contests to see whoever could accumulate the least room demerits for room inspections, and gave away his wife's cooking and gift certificates!

I think he's no longer with the college, but still @ FBCH

 

[Timotheus]

Bro. Morales was a good guy who didn’t get the recognition he  probably should have. He understood living in a dorm and knew how to be harsh and lenient when necessary. When you were wrong, he was tough as nails and could chew you a new one. But he was forgiving and willing to work with guys who were truly sincere. Many guys stayed in school and are probably in the ministry today because of Duke Morales.

Where you there for the "Someone slipped and fell" time in chapel? 

That was the most I had seen someone embarrassed until they made John Francis sing the "Star Spangled Banner". 

 

[Binaca Chugger]

Wasn't "someone slipped and fell" Dan Daniels at the church?

 

[Timotheus]

Wasn't "someone slipped and fell" Dan Daniels at the church?

It happened in college chapel.  Duke Morales was supposed to pray and on the way up the stairs he wiped out.  He looked very humiliated. :-[  Dan Daniels sang the special (It Is No Secret) that day, and as Dan was singing the phrase "someone slipped and fell" he looked right at Duke.  The whole crowed lost it.  I don't think Duke ever lived that one down.

 

[prophet]

I could tell a few tales myself, some of them actually even happened in the vicinity of said tunnels.....

A friend messaged me this morning and asked me if I had seen the "new" FFF.  Not too many hours later I found myself giggling as I read through the posts.....I forgot how funny some of our memories actually are.  After spending to many years aggravated at my college roots, I think I will own my Hackerness and look back and laugh out loud.  Why not?  Shoot, it took me long enough to earn that stupid title!  Hello, my name is Fun1 and I AM a Hacker.

Welcome , Hackerette!

Now, come on with the stories, we love em.

 

[patriotic]

1.  Welcome, Fun1!

2.  Duke Morales was reached through the Lapina family, I believe, My husband worked for him some while in college. He and his wife drove to another state to attend our wedding.

 

[Binaca Chugger]

Wasn't "someone slipped and fell" Dan Daniels at the church?

It happened in college chapel.  Duke Morales was supposed to pray and on the way up the stairs he wiped out.  He looked very humiliated. :-[  Dan Daniels sang the special (It Is No Secret) that day, and as Dan was singing the phrase "someone slipped and fell" he looked right at Duke.  The whole crowed lost it.  I don't think Duke ever lived that one down.

I am quite certain that a similar event happened in church.  Dan Daniels was walking up the stairs to sing, slipped, and then sang the song.  The church cracked up and tried to withhold giggles as he came to the line.  I am pretty sure I remember the event, but I was too young to be in college when Duke was there.  Is my memory playing tricks on me or did DD get back what he dished out?

 

[bgwilkinson]

By way of Facebook:

Jerry Kaifetz

Yesterday at 5:31am

Anyone remember this gem of a human being, HAC's "Tunnel Boy" (known for his liaisons with co-eds in the infamous college tunnel).
They asked me to be in a skit my first year there. I had worked as an entertainer in Europe & the Caribbean. (If you can make a French audience laugh, you will have American audiences slapping the floor.) So I did what I knew to do: I developed my character and ad-libbed. That was not good, as I seriously upstaged Bill McSpadden, which was a huge no-no at H.A.C.. That was my last skit. The only professional entertainer they ever had in "Activities" got the boot. He is pastoring a church now. I hope it doesn't have a tunnel ...

 

[qwerty]

If Jerry didn't live in the past, he would have no life....

 

[Sherryh]

I've always wanted to ask  Faith if she knew about Bill I don't think she knew anything.............I always wanted to know why the girl was taken home and he was still in employed..........

 

[IFB X-Files]

If Jerry didn't live in the past, he would have no life....

So true.  It is a sad story.