You might have a small church if..........

You might have a small church if..........

you were not able to attend a service during a week of revival meetings and the next day your pastor calls you to ask why he did not see you at services.
 
fishinnut said:
You might have a small church if..........

you were not able to attend a service during a week of revival meetings and the next day your pastor calls you to ask why he did not see you at services.

Time to find another church.
 
Twisted said:
fishinnut said:
You might have a small church if..........

you were not able to attend a service during a week of revival meetings and the next day your pastor calls you to ask why he did not see you at services.

Time to find another church.
I did......
 
You might have a small church if..........


You pay them to let you preach there.
 
bgwilkinson said:
You might have a small church if..........


You pay them to let you preach there.

LOL.  Or paid not to preach there.
 
Twisted said:
fishinnut said:
You might have a small church if..........

you were not able to attend a service during a week of revival meetings and the next day your pastor calls you to ask why he did not see you at services.

Seen it happen.
 
On Facebook today:


You Might Be A Small Church Pastor If?

1) You open each service with ?These are my deacons, I am who they say I am, I can do what they say I can do??

2) At least three times a week someone says to you ?I noticed your car was at your house.?

3) The phrase ?But we?re a loving church? is the church?s unofficial motto.

4) When someone in your church has their picture in the paper it will be pinned to the bulletin board.

5) You have two revivals a year. The Pastor gets to pick the speaker for one and the deacons get to pick the speaker for the other.

6) You have more deacons than widows.

7) You have more deacons than windows.

8) The budget committee just whites out the dates on last years budget and runs off copies for the new year.

9) There is a woman in the church that you are deathly afraid of.

10) You have two people you consider friends at the church. One of them is in the third grade.

11) When the phone rings you?re just praying you don?t hear the words ?Preacher I need to get in the church.?

12) You have a church van?YOU have a church van.

13) You have to plan your vacation around VBS.

14) You are regularly volunteered by a specific person in your church without being asked first.

15) There is a man in the church that once said to you ?Preacher, do you know how much money I give to this church??

16) Most of the charter members seats are marked with small blankets in the sanctuary.

17) A couple of times a year someone wants to sing a country music song as a special.

18) The congregation appears to double in size when the choir comes down.

19) Your wife strategically plans her grocery store trips so she doesn?t run into as many church members.
 
You might have a small church if..........

your attendance is an average of 55 per week and your church Marquee sign says come experience Pentecost .sign says. "Come experience Pentecost."
 
fishinnut said:
You might have a small church if..........

your attendance is an average of 55 per week and your church Marquee sign says come experience Pentecost .sign says. "Come experience Pentecost."
Maybe it's b/c you're speaking in tongues!
 
fishinnut said:
You might have a small church if..........

your attendance is an average of 55 per week and your church Marquee sign says come experience Pentecost .sign says. "Come experience Pentecost."

Of course!  3000 (# saved at Pentecost) divided by 55 is.....55! (rounded)  Amen!  Glory!
 
You might have a small church if..........

there are 13 cars in the parking lot on Sunday morning & your sign offers Seminary classes during the week.
 
You might have a small church if..........

the pastor mows the lawn, writes & types all the letters & the weekly bulletin, visits all those in the hospital, cleans the building, teaches, preaches and gets criticized if he doesn't notice every single person who walks in the door on any given Sunday.
 
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