The Craziest Sermon I Have Ever Heard!

Three memorable nightbus sermons:
-my brother in law preaching about how the bus ministry does teach you balance, unlike what the critics say. He had everybody stand up while the bus was moving, and then proceeded to move down the aisle, knocking them over, and telling them they were learning balance
-the self proclaimed right hand man of the right hand man (Bro. John) of the right hand man (Bro. Ray) of the right hand man (Bro. Hyles) of God telling us, in a sermon, that if we didn't like it we should get the h-e-l-l off the bus; to this day I'm baffled why the division leader (the right hand man of Bro. Ray mentioned above) didn't sit him down, or, failing that, tell us it was wrong when he got up later
-one guy preaching the proverbial, 'You're not a worker; you're just a rider' (a line I later stole and used to some effect myself) who then proceeded to introduce some freshman male workers to the bus broom by whacking them upside the head with it while preaching

...and then, there was Roger Casteel's last sermon in HAC chapel, preached in the Barney suit. There's an image I can't get out of my mind.





Then again, I've preached some awful doozies myself, that cause me to blush when I remember them.
 
Okay I read through five pages of this stuff hoping someone else would bring it up but nobody did so here goes....  I was in hac chapel once and the speaker was Joe Boyd. In the middle of his sermon he started talking about oral sex! :o
 
BALAAM said:
Okay I read through five pages of this stuff hoping someone else would bring it up but nobody did so here goes....  I was in hac chapel once and the speaker was Joe Boyd. In the middle of his sermon he started talking about oral sex! :o
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How much you wanna bet they don't carry that one for sale anymore in peddlers way?
 
BALAAM said:
Okay I read through five pages of this stuff hoping someone else would bring it up but nobody did so here goes....  I was in hac chapel once and the speaker was Joe Boyd. In the middle of his sermon he started talking about oral sex! :o
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My first summer with him I was a rather sheltered, naive 17 year old. I sure did get an education, bless his heart.
 
Still There said:
Bruh said:
Still There said:
These are really funny stories.  I'm getting a really good chuckle.  Need some more.  Vineyard and Gomez are real hoots!  I've heard the Gomez stories about him and women skirts.  I believe his wife wore a pretty tight wedding dress.  HMMMMM.
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Now you are just being negative.  :)
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No no no, I'm not being negative, but the old saying is "you gotta practice what ya preach."
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I know but there thing is if you disagree you are being negative.  I was being sarcastic. 
 
Smellin Coffee said:
Two from HB chapel come to mind, simply because we heard them through our "HB punk" filters:

In junior high, one of the teachers spoke about the "poison in the pot" and kept referring to "and he set (sic - II Kings 4:38) on the great pot".

The other one that comes to mind was in high school, a history teacher kept talking about "Balaam's talking ass" and never used the word "donkey" throughout the message. He couldn't figure out why we couldn't keep from cracking up!
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I remember the second!  The other like it was during Bible class skits, an immigrant kept quoting the Bible to tell us that we were all bastards.  Language barrier.  Mr. Harrell finally stopped him after, like, the 7th time the kid screamed at us that we were all bastards.
 
Bruh said:
Gomez telling everyone from the pulpit that his now wife was a virgin when they got married.
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He bragged about that everywhere he went.  I felt sorry for the poor gal - her new husband MOG telling everyone about their sex life.  :-[
 
fishinnut said:
Then there was the Pastor's School sermon by Larry Brown where he preached against the violence in TV & illustrated how bad it was by smashing the screen of a TV on the platform at FBCH.
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Watched that one again on YouTube just recently.  My wife went ballistic: "Why do they always blame the woman!?!  We are the ones who want it off and to spend time with the guy who is too tired after work to do anything but watch sports!  The TV is filled with naked women, not men!  Why do they always blame the wife!?!"

I had no answer.  :-[
 
Binaca Chugger said:
Bruh said:
Gomez telling everyone from the pulpit that his now wife was a virgin when they got married.
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He bragged about that everywhere he went.  I felt sorry for the poor gal - her new husband MOG telling everyone about their sex life.  :-[
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Rummer has it that the blowhard was lying.
 
HAC Chapel.  Bob Gray spoke on the KJV.  Talked about the inerrant seed.  Proceeded to talk about human reproduction and the sperm of God birthing true Christians.  Other versions, of course, are the sperm of anti-God groups who are birthing two-fold children of hell.

Not only did he preach heresy - he displayed what a pervert these types are.
 
HAC Chapel as GSBC was beginning:  "You can take your Golden Opportunity and shove it where the son don't shine!"
 
Fugate came to a local conference and told us that Rom 8:28 means that you will have plenty in this life, comfort and things if you just keep doing what the called of God are supposed to do.

I guess in the KY Bible, Jesus was wealthy, had a nice house and several chariots.  Performance Based Christianity - Pffshhhh.

 
Binaca Chugger said:
HAC Chapel.  Bob Gray spoke on the KJV.  Talked about the inerrant seed.  Proceeded to talk about human reproduction and the sperm of God birthing true Christians.  Other versions, of course, are the sperm of anti-God groups who are birthing two-fold children of hell.

Not only did he preach heresy - he displayed what a pervert these types are.
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See, the thing is, there is just so much more wonderful stuff in the Bible to preach. You don't have to make this stuff up. And yet this is who was set in front of us as examples.

With these kinds of theological and preaching disasters as our role models it is amazing any of us have a balanced view of the Scriptures, let alone a balanced approach to ministry.

 
Bob Gray and heresy different sides of the same coin.
 
BALAAM said:
Okay I read through five pages of this stuff hoping someone else would bring it up but nobody did so here goes....  I was in hac chapel once and the speaker was Joe Boyd. In the middle of his sermon he started talking about oral sex! :o
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Were you in Night college, or day?  Cuz it was hilarious watching D.Moore try to do damage control at Night College.

Anishinaabe

 
prophet said:
BALAAM said:
Okay I read through five pages of this stuff hoping someone else would bring it up but nobody did so here goes....  I was in hac chapel once and the speaker was Joe Boyd. In the middle of his sermon he started talking about oral sex! :o
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Were you in Night college, or day?  Cuz it was hilarious watching D.Moore try to do damage control at Night College.

Anishinaabe
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Don't tell me he did it twice!!  No, this was in day college. When you are listening you are kind of in shock . Like, "Did I just hear him right?"  Several others on the old forum were there and heard the same thing. Some of them on their first date in chapel!
 
In the mid-70's, a HACer was invited to preach at HB chapel. He came in with a strong conviction against just about everything and let loose with a sermon he titled "Bangs, Bells, and Big Heel Boots." In this sermon, he preached about the God-forsakenness of anyone wearing boots with big heels, flared pants, hair with bangs (men obviously), wire rim glasses (John Lennon imitators?) and other things undeserving of a conviction. The students began laughing at him and somewhat openly mocking him (I never saw that before or after) and several of the teachers and administrators on the stage were wearing wire rim glasses and had bangs and boots. He was actually interrupted in this sermon and had to discontinue preaching - again, I had never witnessed that before or after. It became a joke to "catch" a teacher violating one of the "standards" from this sermon.

Fortunately, this story does have kind of a redemption as the HACer was eventually invited back to preach in chapel again. He brought up that sermon in a humorous self-deprecating way and proceeded to preach  a sermon that ended with him receiving a standing ovation. Standing "O's" were very rare at HB in sharp contrast to the every day occurrence at HAC.

My sincere apologies for bringing up this  story if it was one of you.
 
BALAAM said:
Okay I read through five pages of this stuff hoping someone else would bring it up but nobody did so here goes....  I was in hac chapel once and the speaker was Joe Boyd. In the middle of his sermon he started talking about oral sex! :o
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Gotta cut him some slack. I'm sure he was preaching to the staff members/students that were in the tunnel during the message.

:-X
 
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