The Craziest Sermon I Have Ever Heard!

R

RAIDER

Well-known member
Doctor
Elect
Joined
Jan 28, 2013
Messages
8,299
Reaction score
109
Points
63
Because most of us have been around church for many years, I'm sure we have heard our share of "crazy" sermons.  Maybe it was a text taken totally out of context.  Perhaps it was a sermon delivered in an unusual way. So let's hear some stories about some "crazy sermons"!
 
Two from HB chapel come to mind, simply because we heard them through our "HB punk" filters:

In junior high, one of the teachers spoke about the "poison in the pot" and kept referring to "and he set (sic - II Kings 4:38) on the great pot".

The other one that comes to mind was in high school, a history teacher kept talking about "Balaam's talking ass" and never used the word "donkey" throughout the message. He couldn't figure out why we couldn't keep from cracking up!
 
Smellin Coffee said:
Two from HB chapel come to mind, simply because we heard them through our "HB punk" filters:

In junior high, one of the teachers spoke about the "poison in the pot" and kept referring to "and he set (sic - II Kings 4:38) on the great pot".

The other one that comes to mind was in high school, a history teacher kept talking about "Balaam's talking ass" and never used the word "donkey" throughout the message. He couldn't figure out why we couldn't keep from cracking up!
Click to expand...

Stinkin' HBers!!  :)
 
Gomez telling everyone from the pulpit that his now wife was a virgin when they got married. 

 
Bruh said:
Gomez telling everyone from the pulpit that his now wife was a virgin when they got married.
Click to expand...

I double-dog dare you to tell him THAT to his face!  :P
 
When I arrived as a freshman at HAC Jim Vineyard had been gone for a couple of years but the stories still lingered.  He preached in chapel on a Monday.  Some bus driver had been reported for speeding on the Dan Ryan.  Here was Vineyard's text from Judges 3:

21 And Ehud put forth his left hand, and took the dagger from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly:

22 And the haft also went in after the blade; and the fat closed upon the blade, so that he could not draw the dagger out of his belly; and the dirt came out.

Vineyard said, "I have a report here of a Hyles-Anderson College student driving a bus 70 miles an hour down the Dan Ryan Expressway.  Today, the dirt is coming out!"  As you can imagine, he spent the chapel service dealing harshly with the guy.

 
My family arrived on year 2 of the college when it was still at the Baptist City campus. I remember my dad coming home one day telling me of a sermon Vineyard preached. He reached back grabbed a chair off the platform and pre-Bobby Knight days, threw the chair into the aisle, breaking it.

I thought it was comical but lo and behold, in the Caber that year, there was a picture of Vineyard, chair in hand on the platform getting ready to toss it!
 
Vinyard....again.

A little before my time.

I heard about how during a message he asked that heads bowed for prayer & he shot off a blunderbuss gun scaring the fire out of everyone.
 
Laurent preached on women wearing make-up & had a giant drawing of a barn on the wall behind the platform in the old chapel.

Quote: "If the old barn needs painting then paint it!"
 
Then there was the time that JO-JO spoke at a mother-daughter banquet in MI & her main point was on Christian ladies should not wear pants.
 
A few years before I started attending HAC Vineyard came to my home town to preach at a small church.  It was the middle of winter and a terrible snow storm was taking place.  In true Vineyard fashion he drove from Hammond 3 1/2 hours (on a good day) to preach.  Because of the weather many of the church members stayed home.  During his sermon Vineyard went on a rant about people staying home after he had driven in a blizzard to be there.  He picked up a chair off the platform and threw it into the aisle.  The chair busted.

As you can imagine, the people were beyond themselves.  Vineyard ended up giving the pastor money for the chair.  Needless to say, that was the last time he preached in that church.
 
About 5 years ago I was at Gomez's church on a Sunday night.  He was in true Gomez form.  He said, "There are a couple of you gals that have been wearing your skirts too tight.  We can see your stinkin' panty lines.  I've tried to be nice about this, but you are not getting the hint.  If I see it again I'm going to go to your husbands about it.  We're not going to have our men trying to keep a clean mind having to deal with that!"
 
I was at a God Save America Rally in Dwight, Illinois.  Randy Taylor was the first preacher.  Gomez was to follow.  Taylor preached an extremely long "shotgun" sermon and dealt with everything you can think of.  When it was Gomez's turn to preach, he stood up behind the pulpit and said, "The man said it all" and the invitation started.  To this day it is the shortest sermon I have ever heard.  Of course, the Randy Taylor invitation went on for hours.
 
went to a ladies conference at Hoosier Hills Bible Camp. At the time run by Kevin Albert. The tag team was the Cowlings. Main topic women wearing pants...they said the Lord loves you more if you dont wear pants. Had a woman that I bought in tears. She loved the Lord dearly, and was very active in the church, but she wore pants due to her job.
 
kaba said:
went to a ladies conference at Hoosier Hills Bible Camp. At the time run by Kevin Albert. The tag team was the Cowlings. Main topic women wearing pants...they said the Lord loves you more if you dont wear pants. Had a woman that I bought in tears. She loved the Lord dearly, and was very active in the church, but she wore pants due to her job.
Click to expand...

Stinkin' Jezebel!!
 
Just not a Cowling fan. While dating my then future husband, was called into Cowlings office. He told me my husband would have a better ministry if I promised never to wear pants again. Not sure how he knew I wore then when I went home from College.

A couple years ago we had a ultra IFB college from Wisconsin, Milwaukee I think. The students would get up and give their testimonies, one person was saved from the wicked life of bad attitude!
 
kaba said:
Just not a Cowling fan. While dating my then future husband, was called into Cowlings office. He told me my husband would have a better ministry if I promised never to wear pants again. Not sure how he knew I wore then when I went home from College.
Click to expand...

Stinkin' Jezebel!!  :)
 
RAIDER said:
kaba said:
Just not a Cowling fan. While dating my then future husband, was called into Cowlings office. He told me my husband would have a better ministry if I promised never to wear pants again. Not sure how he knew I wore then when I went home from College.
Click to expand...

Stinkin' Jezebel!!  :)
Click to expand...

Darrell Hurst use to call me that all the time.....not sure if he was kidding!
 
fishinnut said:
Then there was the time that JO-JO spoke at a mother-daughter banquet in MI & her main point was on Christian ladies should not wear pants.
Click to expand...
Especially if you're shaped like a funnel! :D
 
16KJV11 said:
fishinnut said:
Then there was the time that JO-JO spoke at a mother-daughter banquet in MI & her main point was on Christian ladies should not wear pants.
Click to expand...
Especially if you're shaped like a funnel! :D
Click to expand...

Upside down!  :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top