You might have a big church if.....

RAIDER said:
tobytyler said:
Baptist City Holdout said:
YMHABC if............... you buy baptistries by the bulk rate.
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Off topic, but does anyone remember when Pastor's School was at Chicago's Amphitheater and Bro Hyles' goal was to have an astronomical number of baptisms?  I believe that he brought in 7 baptisteries for this night, but they fell short of his goal----I can't remember was the number he was hoping to reach.  Curtis Hutson preached was the key note speaker for the evening and he preached a sermon on salvation.
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That was a bit before my time but I have seen pictures.  They did the same thing at Pastor's School when I was a HAC student except it was at the Hammond Civic Center.
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It was '93

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All of the members won't fit around a kitchen table.
 
Tarheel Baptist said:
All of the members won't fit around a kitchen table.
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[emoji23]

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You might have a big church if.....

you as the pastor give announcements during the baptism.
 
...the deacons sweep this under the rug.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/tennessee-preacher-accused-raping-teenage-220616282.html
 
You might have a big church if.....

If your church conducts the 1st service of a new a satellite location in the Grand Ballroom of the largest hotel in the next county over and the building is packed out.
 
fishinnut said:
You might have a big church if.....

If your church conducts the 1st service of a new a satellite location in the Grand Ballroom of the largest hotel in the next county over and the building is packed out.
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Amen. I'm for it!
 
YMHAGC if.........

your church revival meetings are held in your school chapel.
 
YMHABC if......

preachers that need cash call you because they are "passing by your way" and are available to speak if you would like them to.
 
Your "pastor" hires a supposed Ivy League Grad to scour the earth to find him wise men because contrary to scripture that is how he thinks you get wisdom. 
 
TidesofTruth said:
Your "pastor" hires a supposed Ivy League Grad to scour the earth to find him wise men because contrary to scripture that is how he thinks you get wisdom.
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That could leave a mark!!  :)
 
You might have a big church if.....

you have as many parking lot workers as many small churches have in attendance.
 
You might have a big church if.....

you have a workers appreciation day & dinner & 1600 people attend.
 
You might have a big church if.....

your church takes a 2 week Sabbatical each year with no services.
 
You need binoculars to see the preacher.
 
The video boards are the size of drive in movie screens and you have 6 of them.
 
You have a SWAT team for security.
 
You have 10 siblings who all go to the church and you don't see any of them nor their families on Sundays.
 
...you have this guy.

http://babylonbee.com/news/man-stacks-chairs-service-like-tetris-champion/
 
16KJV11 said:
The video boards are the size of drive in movie screens and you have 6 of them.
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Joel Osteen is drooling to have those.
 
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