Your premise is rather insulting.
I did not leave my former IFBx church so I could get a tattoo, drink alcohol or dress differently. It was not about doing a bunch of stuff, it was because I realized I was taught bad doctrine and the leadership was generally abusive.
Priesthood of the believer was just given lip service. I was not supposed to read Scripture, pray and make decisions...no, the mannogawd was going to tell me where the fences in my life would be placed. No different opinions were tolerated. I remember a sermon where we were told we should never verbalize to ANYONE regarding a disagreement about something the pastor taught .
Abuse of the concept of "God's will". Funny, but it always seemed to be God's will for graduating seniors to attend the church's Bible college...just ask any staff member.
Financially abusing the congregation with constant pleas for lots and lots and lots of money. A stinking 20+ phase building program. Being told not to commit to an exact figure until after the banquet guest speaker gave his highly emotional sermon...and some people gave up their retirement money, vacation money, 2nd vehicles, and even wedding rings. Meanwhile the pastor made a huge salary, took amazing vacations, and owned vacation properties.
IMHO this pastor speaks out of both sides of his mouth. He is totally pragmatic and does what he needs to do to gain his objectives. Like telling us to dress more modestly during one conference because outside guests were coming. Or telling half-truths about the sabbatical money he received (from a very liberal organization - shhhhh). Saying he forbade his pervy brother from the pulpit after his divorce, yet allowed him previously to preach when he had to have known his brother had left a prior church for pervy behavior. Appearances, appearances, appearances.
Respecter of persons. The stories I could tell...
Abuse of pastoral authority. He wants it his way, and he wants it now. While being an active member was pretty exhausting (three to thrive! Soulwinning! Practices! Lesson Prep! Can you help with...), this pastor totally owned those poor overworked staff members. Everything, and I mean everything had to be top notch so that he could impress pastors like you so you will send people to his college. Which leads me to...
Cha-ching!!! The church is run like a business. When you allegedly advise new staff that they are expected to bring in 10 new tithing families in order to justify their salary, your thinking is off. The pastor justifies his high salary by saying a CEO of a company with this much staff would be earning....
Scare tactics. I recall when this pastor preached how you can not trust former members...and how our kids would go to the devil if we left. How there were no other God honoring churches in the entire area, so if we left we could no longer be fundamentalists....as if he owned the rights to the term fundamentalist.
So what can I show older generations of fundies?
The truth.
There are several other good churches in our area and beyond, even though they do not agree with the IFBx pastor in several areas. God loves them too and they are His children. There are also good schools to send our kids to (shock! God can use and guide our kids outside the compound!). Our kids have NOT gone to the devil, even though they are no longer under the IFBx "umbrella of protection". I can wear pants, have a tattoo (relax I don't have a tattoo), go to the movie house, etc. and still believe in the fundamentals of the faith.
My faith is to be in God, not in a church or a pastor or in a system of works and prohibitions. That is mostly what older fundies need to understand.
