The "Dear So-and-So" Thread

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raised2walk

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Dear Colorado Motorist,

The space between my vehicle and the vehicle in front of me is called a "buffer" zone. Not an "OH, THEY SAVED ME A PLACE IN LINE!!" zone.

Patiently yours,
r2w
 
raised2walk said:
Dear Colorado Motorist,

The space between my vehicle and the vehicle in front of me is called a "buffer" zone. Not an "OH, THEY SAVED ME A PLACE IN LINE!!" zone.

Patiently yours,
r2w
Click to expand...

Dear r2w,

I was simply testing your brakes. They work fine.

Sincerely,

Colorado Motorist
 
Hate that when that happens!! I like to drive a safe distance from the car in front of me, but someone always slides right in!! Really hate it when I go speed limit and someone is an inch behind my bumper trying to push me to go faster!
 
Dear Google Images,

I would like to thank you for your creative help when I experience writer's block. However, I'm puzzled as to what bikinis have to do with Nebraska wheat production.

Sincerely,
r2w
 
raised2walk said:
Dear Google Images,

I would like to thank you for your creative help when I experience writer's block. However, I'm puzzled as to what bikinis have to do with Nebraska wheat production.

Sincerely,
r2w
Click to expand...

Dear r2w,

Those images appeared because more people need to realize that the more often they eat products of the Nebraska wheat production, the less often (and, in some cases, never) they should wear bikinis. 

Sincerely,
patriotic
 
This is not a "Dear r2w" thread! (LOL)

*ahem*

Dear Elderly Gardening People,

A nest of bunnies is not a nest of mice. Now that the nest is destroyed and the mama has abandoned them, we have seven cuddly little orphans on our hands.

Would you like to come over at 2am and feed them all?
r2w
 
Dear Lady Ahead Of Me In The Grocery Checkout Lane,

The "20 items or less" sign is there for a reason; that lane was meant to be an express lane. The next time you have a cart full of groceries, please find another line. We had to wait so long for you to check out that my ice cream was melted before I made it out to my car.

Thank you and have a blessed day (hope you got stuck on the expressway going home, you old bitty).

:)
 
raised2walk said:
This is not a "Dear r2w" thread! (LOL)

*ahem*

Dear Elderly Gardening People,

A nest of bunnies is not a nest of mice. Now that the nest is destroyed and the mama has abandoned them, we have seven cuddly little orphans on our hands.

r2w
Click to expand...

Dear raised2walk,

Thank you for informing us that we are not supposed to reply to your "letters."

I'm am quite certain that this practice will stop immediately.

Live long and prosper.

HD4U

:P  :D
 
Dear Prius Owners,

Please stop pulling into the left lane on 3 lane roads and setting your cruise to 54mph.
Signed,

Road Rage Maniac
 
Dear Mark Stein,

I wish you would fill in for Rush permanently.

Sincerely,
Your #1 Fan
 
Dear Shaun T,

I've been doing your Insanity workout for 5 weeks now and it has kicked my butt. My endurance has certainly increased and I've loosened a couple of belt notches. But how is it that it wasn't in your workout that I pulled my hamstring but rather in a game of kickball in the park with a bunch of children?

Sincerely,

Smellin Coffee

 
raised2walk said:
Dear Mark Stein,

I wish you would fill in for Rush permanently.

Sincerely,
Your #1 Fan
Click to expand...
YES!

Anishinabe

 
Smellin Coffee said:
Dear Shaun T,

I've been doing your Insanity workout for 5 weeks now and it has kicked my butt. My endurance has certainly increased and I've loosened a couple of belt notches. But how is it that it wasn't in your workout that I pulled my hamstring but rather in a game of kickball in the park with a bunch of children?

Sincerely,

Smellin Coffee
Click to expand...

Dear Smellin,

You're old.

True story.

Signed,
Kickball maniacs of today.
 
Dear Fighting Forum Friends,

It sure had been awhile now, but I am taking a break from pealing apples for some of my homemade apple pie to write this here note. You see, it came to my attention that some of you boys (and gals) are not playing very nice with each other. Land sakes Children! Play nice, like your mama told you, and stop fooling around with all sorts of crazy doctrinational foolery. Name calling and eye poking ain't allowed! And, like my Great Aunt told me many years ago, you can always tell a lazy Christian by how long they debate. She was a mighty wise person, God rest her soul. And her words are for each of you. Stop debating and start a revolution! I remember when some pig of a preacher came to our little country Church. He was a snake for sure, and he started long Sunday School debates about this and that and we didn't like it one bit! No sir! We ran him out of the county and got us a good preacher who didn't debate what doctrine was right or wrong ... he preached the BIBLE! Yep. The Bible! The good ol' American KJV Bible! Not that fancy England one,  the American one! Big difference you know.

Well - this be all for now children.

Play nice!

Mrs. Barbara
 
Dear Captain Picard,

You're the best. My daughter still thinks Kirk was a better captain, but she'll come around.

Engagingly yours,
r2w
 
Dear Captain Picard,

r2w believes you are the best captain. This might be true, but clearly Captain Kathryn Janeway has the best hair.

Yours Truly,

Timothy
 
Dear Mr. Obama,
Please resign soon and do the world a favor!
 
16KJV11 said:
Dear Mr. Obama,
Please resign soon and do the world a favor!
Click to expand...

Dear America,

Looks like 16KJV11 wants to see Biden occupy the presidency. :)
 
aleshanee said:
dr mrs barbara....

there sure seemed to be a lot of name calling and eye poking in that letter you took time out from peeling apples to write us.... telling the rest of us not to call names or poke eyes.... :-\ ..  ... ...  not trying to insinuate or imply anything here.. .. ..  but... ....  i hope you are really good at baking pies....  ???

sincerely and doing our best to play nice...
your forum friends....
Click to expand...

Dear Aleshanee,

My goodness, what a small world! Just the other day I used some tasty coconut milk in my iced sweat tea ... not that I can brag about the results, but experimenting with recipes to hopefully become the iced tea queen again in these parts. Thanks to that no good for nothing Ellen May I now have the second best tea at the Church County Fair. She just wants all them lights on her! Humph.

Anyway - regarding your dear little observations regarding my rebuke toward you forum members. All I can say is my 90 plus years of experience surly allow for some frank talk. You go taking a walk in the woods without minding a bear and you will be getting yourself into a bear tummy! You know what I am saying?

So, mind your elders dear friend. They are your guide on earth. Bible teaching right there.

Mrs. Barbara
 
Smellin Coffee said:
16KJV11 said:
Dear Mr. Obama,
Please resign soon and do the world a favor!
Click to expand...

Dear America,

Looks like 16KJV11 wants to see Biden occupy the presidency. :)
Click to expand...

Dear Mr. Smellin'...
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