Stuff Only IFB People Understand

  • Thread starter Thread starter Dr. Huk-N-Duck
  • Start date Start date
Members: make plans to attend our annual church roller skating activity. We will be renting the entire rink out due to the worldly music that’s normally played there. Get ready for two hours of skating to Patch the Pirate!
 
We had a guy counselor who had gone to BJU. His conviction was that he would wear a t shirt swimming so as to not be a stumbling block to the gals. Good looking guy who was in great physical shape. The gals found his wet shirts quite attractive.
 
Teens: there will be an afterglow following the evening service. No more than two slices of pizza will be allowed. Please bring $5.
 
Teens: we will be having a blitz this Saturday. (For those who don’t know, a “blitz” is where an entire youth group goes door-to-door in targeted neighborhoods advertising an upcoming teen activity.)
 
subllibrm said:
We had a guy counselor who had gone to BJU. His conviction was that he would wear a t shirt swimming so as to not be a stumbling block to the gals. Good looking guy who was in great physical shape. The gals found his wet shirts quite attractive.
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Very comfortable, best UV protection, doesn't turn transparent when wet...
 
HukNduck said:
Boys: You must wear a T-shirt in the pool with girls present!
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Again....never heard this one in any IFB church I was in....why? Because the boys and girls never swam together in any of our outings.
 
HukNduck said:
Men: It’s encouraged to wear a long sleeved shirt, jacket and tie to all Sunday morning services (even in the summer when it’s 95 degrees).
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Wearing a dress shirt and tie (not necessarily a long-sleeved shirt) with a jacket was required in all services no matter what the temp was.
 
abcaines said:
I wear a swimming shirt regardless of who is present. It's called, "Dress for the body you have, not the one you wish you had."
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Because of scars from being shot and stabbed, I wore a t-shirt, and still do.
 
HukNduck said:
Members: attending the movie theater is strictly prohibited as you may be perceived as a stumbling block for the unsaved. (However, feel free to go to your local Blockbuster Video Store and rent movies as often as you wish). 🙄
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Yep, or have HBO (Homo Box office) and Sinnermax in your home! Double standards abounded in the IFB circles and they hated it when these dualities were pointed out!
 
AverageJoe said:
Never heard this one in the whole time I was IFB.
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Back a few years ago when Pensacola Christian College's draconian rules were a hot topic on the Internet, this term came up a lot. It means staring too intently, i.e. with the cute girl sitting across the table from you at lunch. So of course PCC made an (unwritten) rule against it.

Also called something like "optical intercourse," as I recall from the discussions.
 
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Ransom said:
Back a few years ago when Pensacola Christian College's draconian rules were a hot topic on the Internet, this term came up a lot. It means prolonged staring, i.e. at the cute girl sitting across the table from you at lunch. So of course PCC made a rule against it.
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Awww...I see...when I was younger we just called it "eye intercourse!" :) Of course, the church sanitized it a bit and just called it what most psychologists called it...undressing each other with their eyes. Guess we were pretty plain spoken in my generation.
 
AverageJoe said:
Again....never heard this one in any IFB church I was in....why? Because the boys and girls never swam together in any of our outings.
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We never did mixed bathing in a pool, but you have to remember that our church was located near the ocean, so we did some rare teen outings to the beach. We had a church member who was able to get us into an area of the beach that was semi-private. It was more about beach volleyball and a grill out than going in the water, but the rules were well established if mixed bathing in the water occurred, and of course, there were plenty of adults watching.
 
HukNduck said:
We never did mixed bathing in a pool, but you have to remember that our church was located near the ocean, so we did some rare teen outings to the beach. We had a church member who was able to get us into an area of the beach that was semi-private. It was more about beach volleyball and a grill out than going in the water, but the rules were well established if mixed bathing in the water occurred, and of course, there were plenty of adults watching.
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Some of us would sneak off to the beach or to the river and most of the guys wouldn't wear t-shirts...of course, I still did...and the girls wore their bikini's or undergarments, and at times, less than that! Seems like the Baptists have a real hang-up about the human body...everything is wrong or inappropriate unless everyone is dressed up like a sausage in a casing!
 
Teens: there will be an annual college visit to Bob Jones University and Pensacola Christian College. The order of church preference for attendance is in that order. (Anyone attending Liberty University will be perceived as a kid with a rebellious heart, and not approved by the church.)
 
AverageJoe said:
Seems like the Baptists have a real hang-up about the human body...everything is wrong or inappropriate unless everyone is dressed up like a sausage in a casing!
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The strictest place I ever went to for swimming was the local Christian summer camp, where girls were required to wear one-piece bathing suits, and the beach was divided down the middle to separate boys and girls. This wasn't meant to stop us from talking to one another and we still had to share the single diving board.

When I wasn't at summer camp, I spent a lot of time swimming at the town pool, where boys and girls swam together.

Whatever the fundamentalists expect to happen when you mix male and female swimmers at the beach, it never seemed to happen at either place. Makes all that girlwatching feel like a bit of wasted effort...
 
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