How to Approach

[AmazedbyGrace]

This fear that the same will happen to you is what keeps people blinded to the truth or if they know the truth is what keeps people from moving on.

Nailed it

The preachers of these churches know exactly how to play on the peoples fear.  They let tidbits out in the sermons.  You know the stories where no name is given but everyone in attendence knows who the preacher is talking about.  Just enough to keep the people saying wow I am glad it was them and not me.  The preacher knows the sheeple will not get out of line this way because the story is told to say, "listen to preacher or else the she bears will get ya!"

BTDT - burned the t-shirt

I still remember our former IFBx pastor warning us (from the pulpit) to never trust those who left the church, "cause they lie ...They won't tell you the truth about their kids." He basically taught that if you left the IFBx your kids would go to the devil.

Total scare tactic to keep the sheeple loyal.

My faith is not in a church or Christian school/college, it is in Christ, and it is He who is able to keep my children.

 

[sword]

Many of those same IFBx pastors, who employ that style of leadership, end up having problems with their own children. They claim to have all the answers, but little results to show for it. Their children end up with bigger problems than any of the other kids. Is it the long hrs, or the travel schedules, or just the pressures of being A pk? Why do so many of the IFBx staff members or their kids end up in trouble???

 

[Just me]

This fear that the same will happen to you is what keeps people blinded to the truth or if they know the truth is what keeps people from moving on.

Nailed it

The preachers of these churches know exactly how to play on the peoples fear.  They let tidbits out in the sermons.  You know the stories where no name is given but everyone in attendence knows who the preacher is talking about.  Just enough to keep the people saying wow I am glad it was them and not me.  The preacher knows the sheeple will not get out of line this way because the story is told to say, "listen to preacher or else the she bears will get ya!"

BTDT - burned the t-shirt

I still remember our former IFBx pastor warning us (from the pulpit) to never trust those who left the church, "cause they lie ...They won't tell you the truth about their kids." He basically taught that if you left the IFBx your kids would go to the devil.

Total scare tactic to keep the sheeple loyal.

My faith is not in a church or Christian school/college, it is in Christ, and it is He who is able to keep my children.

I have the tee shirt also.  I keep it as a badge of honor!!

It was actually those claims by the preacher of those leaving having turned their backs on God and we are not to communicate with them in any way (even to reach them?????) that was another scale removed from my eyes.  I would see them around the neighborhood or at the grocery store and talk to them.  It was amazing to see that many were still just in love with our Lord as I knew of them before.  Made me have an ah-hah moment many times.  Scare tactic by preacher failed again!

Faith only in Christ as you said!!!!

 

[16KJV11]

This fear that the same will happen to you is what keeps people blinded to the truth or if they know the truth is what keeps people from moving on.

Nailed it

The preachers of these churches know exactly how to play on the peoples fear.  They let tidbits out in the sermons.  You know the stories where no name is given but everyone in attendence knows who the preacher is talking about.  Just enough to keep the people saying wow I am glad it was them and not me.  The preacher knows the sheeple will not get out of line this way because the story is told to say, "listen to preacher or else the she bears will get ya!"

BTDT - burned the t-shirt

I still remember our former IFBx pastor warning us (from the pulpit) to never trust those who left the church, "cause they lie ...They won't tell you the truth about their kids." He basically taught that if you left the IFBx your kids would go to the devil.

Total scare tactic to keep the sheeple loyal.

My faith is not in a church or Christian school/college, it is in Christ, and it is He who is able to keep my children.

I have the tee shirt also.  I keep it as a badge of honor!!

It was actually those claims by the preacher of those leaving having turned their backs on God and we are not to communicate with them in any way (even to reach them?????) that was another scale removed from my eyes.  I would see them around the neighborhood or at the grocery store and talk to them.  It was amazing to see that many were still just in love with our Lord as I knew of them before.  Made me have an ah-hah moment many times.  Scare tactic by preacher failed again!

Faith only in Christ as you said!!!!

This statement is sad but true in some cases.  The pastor of the church I attended back in California did exactly that.  Everyone who left was either not right with God or not saved. 
Church and life became fraught with tension and difficulty.
I determined to be the polar opposite of that and the wonderful thing about it is this: 
Those who have left my church sometimes...come back!
When someone leaves, I write them a letter expressing my sorrow in their leaving and let them know we love them, want to be a blessing to them and want them to come back.

In one case, I met one who left about a year later at Lowes.  We hugged, talked and became fast friends.
He was a contractor and was attending another IFB church at that time.
He ended up being the contractor of a major renovation project at our church and has done several projects for free.  He often loans us tools and other things to help us get projects done.
I like living like this, it's much more liberating.

 

[Just me]

This fear that the same will happen to you is what keeps people blinded to the truth or if they know the truth is what keeps people from moving on.

Nailed it

The preachers of these churches know exactly how to play on the peoples fear.  They let tidbits out in the sermons.  You know the stories where no name is given but everyone in attendence knows who the preacher is talking about.  Just enough to keep the people saying wow I am glad it was them and not me.  The preacher knows the sheeple will not get out of line this way because the story is told to say, "listen to preacher or else the she bears will get ya!"

BTDT - burned the t-shirt

I still remember our former IFBx pastor warning us (from the pulpit) to never trust those who left the church, "cause they lie ...They won't tell you the truth about their kids." He basically taught that if you left the IFBx your kids would go to the devil.

Total scare tactic to keep the sheeple loyal.

My faith is not in a church or Christian school/college, it is in Christ, and it is He who is able to keep my children.

I have the tee shirt also.  I keep it as a badge of honor!!

It was actually those claims by the preacher of those leaving having turned their backs on God and we are not to communicate with them in any way (even to reach them?????) that was another scale removed from my eyes.  I would see them around the neighborhood or at the grocery store and talk to them.  It was amazing to see that many were still just in love with our Lord as I knew of them before.  Made me have an ah-hah moment many times.  Scare tactic by preacher failed again!

Faith only in Christ as you said!!!!

This statement is sad but true in some cases.  The pastor of the church I attended back in California did exactly that.  Everyone who left was either not right with God or not saved. 
Church and life became fraught with tension and difficulty.
I determined to be the polar opposite of that and the wonderful thing about it is this: 
Those who have left my church sometimes...come back!
When someone leaves, I write them a letter expressing my sorrow in their leaving and let them know we love them, want to be a blessing to them and want them to come back.

In one case, I met one who left about a year later at Lowes.  We hugged, talked and became fast friends.
He was a contractor and was attending another IFB church at that time.
He ended up being the contractor of a major renovation project at our church and has done several projects for free.  He often loans us tools and other things to help us get projects done.
I like living like this, it's much more liberating.

That is good news to hear 16KJV11.  You learned a valuable lesson from your pastor in California. 

You should write him a thank you note.   

I run into staff from the IFBx church we left and get the deer in the headlight look from most but not all.  It is usually the wives who will talk and appear happy to chat with me.

 

[JustABigKid]

This statement is sad but true in some cases.  The pastor of the church I attended back in California did exactly that.  Everyone who left was either not right with God or not saved. 
Church and life became fraught with tension and difficulty.
I determined to be the polar opposite of that and the wonderful thing about it is this: 
Those who have left my church sometimes...come back!
When someone leaves, I write them a letter expressing my sorrow in their leaving and let them know we love them, want to be a blessing to them and want them to come back.

In one case, I met one who left about a year later at Lowes.  We hugged, talked and became fast friends.
He was a contractor and was attending another IFB church at that time.
He ended up being the contractor of a major renovation project at our church and has done several projects for free.  He often loans us tools and other things to help us get projects done.
I like living like this, it's much more liberating.

I think this is how churches should act. At the church I attend now there have been some families that left. People would still contact them, see how they are doing, go to their kids birthday parties, etc. And guess what?????? They decided to come back. It is amazing when you just have a Christ like attitude what can happen.

That is good news to hear 16KJV11.  You learned a valuable lesson from your pastor in California. 

You should write him a thank you note.   

I run into staff from the IFBx church we left and get the deer in the headlight look from most but not all.  It is usually the wives who will talk and appear happy to chat with me.

When I go back to visit my family and attend church there most people have always been cordial to me but up until the last visit the pastor would not even recognize I was there even when he walked up and started talking to someone just a couple of chairs down from me, looked and me and then walked away.

 

[Just me]

When I go back to visit my family and attend church there most people have always been cordial to me but up until the last visit the pastor would not even recognize I was there even when he walked up and started talking to someone just a couple of chairs down from me, looked and me and then walked away.

I am glad to hear that you and your family have a good relationship and that it has not been poisoned by the leadership there.  I know to many families that are just the opposite from IFBx church leaders. 

As for your former pastor, no surprise there.