How to Approach

[JustABigKid]

I would love to get some ideas on how to approach loved ones that are blinded to an IFBx church. I have not made it a big issue with them because I know they will run straight to the "Pastor" to see what he says and then of course he will fill their head with a bunch of crap but I still have been contemplating what would be the best way to go about it.

 

[Just me]

Realize first that it will take time for their eyes to open.  It rarely is a sudden event.  There will, one day, be a final event that will cause them to walk.  It will not be until they are willing to endure the pain involved in leaving.

So be patient with them and understanding in that they do not see the forest for the trees right now.  One day it will all come into focus as it did for you and so many others.

 

[bruinboy]

Agreed.  God will show them the silliness and heresy screeched by the x'ers.  It may take some time, but patience and love from your end will be positive.  The more you say to them, the worse it will probably be.  I am sure they want it to look like their idea to leave when the time comes.  All things are possible.......

 

[JustABigKid]

Thank you.

I have a hard time not just yelling out "Wake Up." It is very difficult when I go to visit them because out of respect for them I will go to church with them but I hate every minute of it.

How do you keep going without getting frustrated or mad at your loved ones?

 

[lnf]

Prayer!

 

[Recovering IFB]

Prayer!

And then after that, more prayer.....
I have spoken with some of my old church members, and some people just like having their conscience pierced every Sunday, they feel that if they are not under serious conviction, they are not growing in Christ. One brother told me that he "needed these rules to help him with his walk with Christ" ( dress, tie, and of course standards) one real good friend who I still play golf with says he has been there over 35 yrs and doesn't want to leave. He is one of the reformed thinkers there are. Some people just don't want to rock the boat I guess... 

 

[Castor Muscular]

I have spoken with some of my old church members, and some people just like having their conscience pierced every Sunday, they feel that if they are not under serious conviction, they are not growing in Christ. One brother told me that he "needed these rules to help him with his walk with Christ" ( dress, tie, and of course standards)

Battered wife syndrome?

By the way, I avoid battered women.  Too many empty calories. 

 

[FSSL]

I would love to get some ideas on how to approach loved ones that are blinded to an IFBx church.

Buy them a NIV for their birthday.

 

[Recovering IFB]

I have spoken with some of my old church members, and some people just like having their conscience pierced every Sunday, they feel that if they are not under serious conviction, they are not growing in Christ. One brother told me that he "needed these rules to help him with his walk with Christ" ( dress, tie, and of course standards)

Battered wife syndrome?

By the way, I avoid battered women.  Too many empty calories.

*groans*
100,000 comedians out of work and your cracking jokes?

 

[AmazedbyGrace]

I would love to get some ideas on how to approach loved ones that are blinded to an IFBx church. I have not made it a big issue with them because I know they will run straight to the "Pastor" to see what he says and then of course he will fill their head with a bunch of crap but I still have been contemplating what would be the best way to go about it.

StuffFundiesLike recently had a post addressing why many take a long time to leave....even when they acknowledge there are problems.

http://www.stufffundieslike.com/2013/05/why-dont-they-just-leave/

 

[Sherryh]

I attend an IFB church and we are not cult believers.........I follow God's Word if that makes me different it's better than drinking in a nighclub all night, or smoking dope and frying my brains..............or twittering words that would embrass the pope.....when was it ok to use words that were flithy using f.........this and f........that a good mouthwashing would fix that problem.

Everyone that attends a Baptist church is not a cult follower.

My prayer for you is to pray for your family daily....I also have to tell you that they may never see your side.But always be there for them if they do........

 

[JrChurch]

Just sit there and think in your mind, "God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this IFBx publican."

 

[brianb]

Are they reading the Bible on their own? If they really read their Bible (and rightly divided it) they would see what's wrong with their church's teachings and practices.  The goal should not be just getting out of the IFBx church but that they know the truth otherwise they will either go to another church that isn't IFBx but is just as bad if not worse or they may not go to church at all.

 

[JustABigKid]

I attend an IFB church and we are not cult believers.........I follow God's Word if that makes me different it's better than drinking in a nighclub all night, or smoking dope and frying my brains..............or twittering words that would embrass the pope.....when was it ok to use words that were flithy using f.........this and f........that a good mouthwashing would fix that problem.

Everyone that attends a Baptist church is not a cult follower.

My prayer for you is to pray for your family daily....I also have to tell you that they may never see your side.But always be there for them if they do........

The church I attend now is IFB as well but they are nothing like where I grew up. Preaching is purely Biblical and they encourage and teach you to study the Bible for yourself as well. Sunday school is not spent telling you this is what you need to do but is spent in almost a conversational style of teaching getting you to bring out what you learned through your own study. My whole family really like its.

 

[JustABigKid]

Just sit there and think in your mind, "God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this IFBx publican."

Sorry but this is a stupid comment. My thoughts are not this in the least. I hurt that family's life is controlled by one man and not God.

 

[JustABigKid]

Are they reading the Bible on their own? If they really read their Bible (and rightly divided it) they would see what's wrong with their church's teachings and practices.  The goal should not be just getting out of the IFBx church but that they know the truth otherwise they will either go to another church that isn't IFBx but is just as bad if not worse or they may not go to church at all.

As far as I know yes. But I think the problem is when reading their understanding of what the Bible really says is muddy by the teachings they have received for many years. I understand that some who get out just stop going to church. I have many classmates I grew up with that are in that boat and it is heartbreaking the way their lives are now.

 

[Mathew Ward]

I would love to get some ideas on how to approach loved ones that are blinded to an IFBx church. I have not made it a big issue with them because I know they will run straight to the "Pastor" to see what he says and then of course he will fill their head with a bunch of crap but I still have been contemplating what would be the best way to go about it.

Realize that God will have to open their eyes so pray for them.  Also understanding Biblically where they are wrong and using the Scriptures to refute any of their man made standards. But this will have to be done in love and you will have to wait until they bring the questions to you.

 

[Just me]

One thing I have seen over the years in those who finally walk away from IFBx churches is one common thing.  They do not leave until it becomes personal.  They see the issues and double standards and everything but until it hits them square in the eyes they stay.  Usually that personal issue comes through the children.

 

[JustABigKid]

One thing I have seen over the years in those who finally walk away from IFBx churches is one common thing.  They do not leave until it becomes personal.  They see the issues and double standards and everything but until it hits them square in the eyes they stay.  Usually that personal issue comes through the children.

I can see how this is true but I know families whose kids were treated horribly and they are still there. It just amazes me.

 

[Just me]

One thing I have seen over the years in those who finally walk away from IFBx churches is one common thing.  They do not leave until it becomes personal.  They see the issues and double standards and everything but until it hits them square in the eyes they stay.  Usually that personal issue comes through the children.

I can see how this is true but I know families whose kids were treated horribly and they are still there. It just amazes me.

Those are not just kool aid drinkers they are drinking the grape stuff!!!  It wouldn't matter what happened they believe the preacher/staff in all things.  Sad part is that the preachers knows this and can twist the story any way he choses knowing they will believe it and do what ever he says because in reality the parents love the preacher more then they love their children.

I have watched that exact situation over and over.