Opinion, Please

IFB X-Files

IFB X-Files

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Sunday we saw some bad news.  A teenage "couple" came forward in church to let us know she was pregnant.  They are both 16.  They asked for forgiveness and expressed their plan of getting married this coming January.

My wife thinks that's fine but my thought is that when you wreck your car, you don't wreck it again to fix it.  My thought is that the baby should be put up for immediate adoption and that they not get married.  But then that's my green brain at work.  What are your thoughts about a situation like this?
 
[quote author=IFB X-Files] My thought is that the baby should be put up for immediate adoption...[/quote]

Why?

[quote author=IFB X-Files]My wife thinks that's fine but my thought is that when you wreck your car, you don't wreck it again to fix it...and that they not get married.[/quote]

I would agree that "oops" is a pretty stupid reason to get married. I also think that today's 16-yr olds are generally not mature enough to marry. But there could be unique circumstances, and I wouldn't turn it into a blanket prohibition.
 
Over 20 years ago my niece got pregnant at 16, had the baby and with great support of parents, siblings, extending family she raised that child, finished high school, graduated from college and married a nice man who adopted her child.

Each situations is a unique situation and not a cut and dry answer.
 
IFB X-Files said:
Sunday we saw some bad news.  A teenage "couple" came forward in church to let us know she was pregnant.  They are both 16.  They asked for forgiveness and expressed their plan of getting married this coming January.

My wife thinks that's fine but my thought is that when you wreck your car, you don't wreck it again to fix it.  My thought is that the baby should be put up for immediate adoption and that they not get married.  But then that's my green brain at work.  What are your thoughts about a situation like this?
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Wow, he/she not even old enough to work a full time job, join the military or vote.
Still have brains full of mush.
I see a recipe for disaster.
Adoption is the best idea.
 
[quote author=16KJV11]Adoption is the best idea.[/quote]

Why?
 
Unless you know this young couples whole story, saying adoption is the best answer is not a well thought out answer.
 
IFB X-Files said:
Sunday we saw some bad news.  A teenage "couple" came forward in church to let us know she was pregnant.  They are both 16.  They asked for forgiveness and expressed their plan of getting married this coming January.

My wife thinks that's fine but my thought is that when you wreck your car, you don't wreck it again to fix it.  My thought is that the baby should be put up for immediate adoption and that they not get married.  But then that's my green brain at work.  What are your thoughts about a situation like this?
Click to expand...

I have seen where a situation like that has worked (over 30 years of marriage) and where it hasn't. IMHO, it is up to the couple to decide and the church to provide a support group for the new family. When I mean "support group" I mean purposefully, actively and persistently getting involved in their lives training them about life, love, marriage, parenting, etc.

The young man has chosen to take responsibility for being a husband and a father. Kudos to him!

Take a look at this country music video. Kinda speaks for itself:

Kenny Chesney - There Goes My Life
 
A lot depends on the maturity of the kids. I wouldn't marry just because I was pregnant.  The worse mistake you can make because you're not marrying because you love each other, you're getting married because you "have to".  Working with the DCS I've seen it all and it isn't pretty.  He has to work to support her and the baby.  Who's going to give him a decent job at 16?  Burger King, MCD, Wendy's.  You can't even support yourself at $8.00 an hour, how are you going to support your family?  A couple of years ago we had a 16 year old girl who got pregnant and her parents made her give up the baby because (1) she was very immature; (2) mom wasn't going to raise the baby.  The sad thing is the 14 year old daughter wound up getting pregnant. Same senario as above.  If you're the pastor of that church, please discourage them to get married.  It will ruin their lives, but more so the life of that unborn baby.  Tragedy is ahead. 
 
Still There said:
A lot depends on the maturity of the kids. I wouldn't marry just because I was pregnant.  The worse mistake you can make because you're not marrying because you love each other, you're getting married because you "have to".  Working with the DCS I've seen it all and it isn't pretty.  He has to work to support her and the baby.  Who's going to give him a decent job at 16?  Burger King, MCD, Wendy's.  You can't even support yourself at $8.00 an hour, how are you going to support your family?  A couple of years ago we had a 16 year old girl who got pregnant and her parents made her give up the baby because (1) she was very immature; (2) mom wasn't going to raise the baby.  The sad thing is the 14 year old daughter wound up getting pregnant. Same senario as above.  If you're the pastor of that church, please discourage them to get married.  It will ruin their lives, but more so the life of that unborn baby.  Tragedy is ahead.
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I agree whole heartedly.
I'm not saying that the couple keeping the baby couldn't work, I'm sure it might could work. (in my best hill billy-ese)
But I believe the BEST situation would be to find a responsible Christian couple (Solid Christian values, church, job, income, etc.) who could give the child a stable, two parent home.
 
Great answers and I appreciate them all.

To give you a little more insight into the girl (we don't really know the boy at all, he's only been attending the church for a few months), from what we can see and hear, her home life is not the best.  To be honest, I'm not sure the girl is saved.  She only attends church, usually only on Sunday mornings (but not for SS) with her grandmother.  She also dresses like a harlot, with low cut dresses, slit skirts, etc. 

So when this boy showed up a couple months ago, I knew trouble would probably happen, and it did.  I was not surprised at all that she's pregnant.  When I was her (and his) age I never saw girls dress like that and even then I was tempted to do wrong.  Today with girls half naked and showing it all off, how can a 16 yr. old boy NOT keep his hands off?

Thanks again for all the insight.
 
IFB X-Files said:
Great answers and I appreciate them all.

To give you a little more insight into the girl (we don't really know the boy at all, he's only been attending the church for a few months), from what we can see and hear, her home life is not the best.  To be honest, I'm not sure the girl is saved.  She only attends church, usually only on Sunday mornings (but not for SS) with her grandmother.  She also dresses like a harlot, with low cut dresses, slit skirts, etc. 
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You still haven't given me a reason why this individual should not be allowed to raise the child she birthed. Is she mentally ill to the point of not being able to care for a child? Is she hooked on anything that is likely to cause her to abandon or otherwise neglect the child in question?

[quote author=IFB X-Files]So when this boy showed up a couple months ago, I knew trouble would probably happen, and it did.  I was not surprised at all that she's pregnant.  When I was her (and his) age I never saw girls dress like that and even then I was tempted to do wrong.  Today with girls half naked and showing it all off, how can a 16 yr. old boy NOT keep his hands off?

Thanks again for all the insight.[/quote]

No. Not even a little bit. This boy is completely responsible for his own actions. I don't care if she paraded naked in front of him. He still made his own choice regarding his actions.

 
rsc2a said:
IFB X-Files said:
Great answers and I appreciate them all.

To give you a little more insight into the girl (we don't really know the boy at all, he's only been attending the church for a few months), from what we can see and hear, her home life is not the best.  To be honest, I'm not sure the girl is saved.  She only attends church, usually only on Sunday mornings (but not for SS) with her grandmother.  She also dresses like a harlot, with low cut dresses, slit skirts, etc. 
Click to expand...

You still haven't given me a reason why this individual should not be allowed to raise the child she birthed. Is she mentally ill to the point of not being able to care for a child? Is she hooked on anything that is likely to cause her to abandon or otherwise neglect the child in question?
Click to expand...
Again, I'm sure that she/they could raise the child, but what would be BEST for the child?
An immature 16 year old couple or a stable Christian couple?
 
16KJV11 said:
rsc2a said:
IFB X-Files said:
Great answers and I appreciate them all.

To give you a little more insight into the girl (we don't really know the boy at all, he's only been attending the church for a few months), from what we can see and hear, her home life is not the best.  To be honest, I'm not sure the girl is saved.  She only attends church, usually only on Sunday mornings (but not for SS) with her grandmother.  She also dresses like a harlot, with low cut dresses, slit skirts, etc. 
Click to expand...

You still haven't given me a reason why this individual should not be allowed to raise the child she birthed. Is she mentally ill to the point of not being able to care for a child? Is she hooked on anything that is likely to cause her to abandon or otherwise neglect the child in question?
Click to expand...
Again, I'm sure that she/they could raise the child, but what would be BEST for the child?
An immature 16 year old couple or a stable Christian couple?
Click to expand...

So are you also approving of the government mandating vaccinations of a child against the wishes of his/her parents because they deem the shots as "best" for the child?
 
So you are saying she is unstable because she only goes to one church service a week? and she is unstable because she dresses like a "harlot"? Lets think outside of the IFB box.
 
admin said:
... this makes for an awesome time for a church to wrap their arms around these kids! 
Click to expand...

The interesting part about this is that nobody knows what will happen.  There is no right or wrong answer.  Only time will tell.

As far as the church, 90% of the 50 or so that attend are over 60 and she's never felt involved around them before.  Then again, having all those grandparent age folks around could draw her back into faithfulness.  Who knows.

BTW, and someone else has said this:  The concern here is primarily here for the child.
 
IFB X-Files said:
admin said:
... this makes for an awesome time for a church to wrap their arms around these kids! 
Click to expand...

The interesting part about this is that nobody knows what will happen.  There is no right or wrong answer.  Only time will tell.
Click to expand...

Forced adoption because she doesn't meet some church's standard of morality is definitely the wrong answer.

[quote author=IFB X-Files]BTW, and someone else has said this:  The concern here is primarily here for the child.[/quote]

Hopefully all three of the children...
 
Many factors must be considered.  Anonymous posters with no knowledge of the individuals can provide only stereotypical to theoretical opinions.

Some factors to consider:
if married, where will they live, how will the be provided for, who will counsel them, will they listen to counsel, etc.
if rearing the child alone, who will help this young mother
if adoption, who will counsel this young mother

What is best for the infant
Can the couple survive as a couple

From you posts, it sounds like the child mother and the child father might only be following the mandate of some authority in their life.  A counselor needs to discover what their real heart situation is.
 
I would get behind the pulpit on Sunday morning and preach the devil out of them!!  :)
 
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