How does one know if they're ready for marriage?

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brianb

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Is commitment all that is necessary - because I've got that?

Also another question.
There's this girl (actually she's 30 so she's more woman than girl) and I like her more than any one else and it's more than physical. However she's not like most Christian women her age, she doesn't have the desire for any man even though she's never had a bad experience. In fact I would call her pure and innocent with regards to men. She says she would like to have children some day but she's not ready right now. It's highly unusual to meet someone like this but I know I didn't find her by accident - I didn't even look for her. I don't know what I should do. Should I just wait until she says she's ready or should I say something to her? There's no urgency on my part - I just want to know what is the right thing to do.
 
Actually that is not so uncommon in my experience.  I know a group of young ladies right who fit that category.  All ages 25 to 35.

I think there is a lot of wisdom in these young ladies.
 
Just me said:
Actually that is not so uncommon in my experience.  I know a group of young ladies right who fit that category.  All ages 25 to 35.

I think there is a lot of wisdom in these young ladies.
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So these woman are just not looking for a man right now or have no longing for one?

How does it work for women any ways? Does she have to meet or see someone before she can have a desire or longing. She says she doesn't have that desire or longing but I think it's because she hasn't seen any men that she really likes. She is a member of a very small church as well.
 
Oh they all would like to be married someday but they are all waiting upon the Lord to bring the right fella along.  Some of them have dated and some have not as of yet had any real dating experience.  Some have come out of the xer churches and probably are scared to get involved because of fear of the guy being like what they left behind.

I do not see it as a problem or a bad thing.  In talking to some of them they appear to be focused on growing in the Lord daily and leaving the rest in His hands.
 
Just me said:
Oh they all would like to be married someday but they are all waiting upon the Lord to bring the right fella along.  Some of them have dated and some have not as of yet had any real dating experience.  Some have come out of the xer churches and probably are scared to get involved because of fear of the guy being like what they left behind.

I do not see it as a problem or a bad thing.  In talking to some of them they appear to be focused on growing in the Lord daily and leaving the rest in His hands.
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That sounds like what she may be thinking though she's never said that. She's also her own boss and has her own business - a successful business with her own staff. She says she's a strong, independent woman - which she is. This is something that a lot of men would not find attractive. She said that she has being propositioned by young men but that was before she started her business - now it seems she no longer gets that from men. From what I can see I may be the only man interested in her.
 
brianb said:
Is commitment all that is necessary - because I've got that?

Also another question.
There's this girl (actually she's 30 so she's more woman than girl) and I like her more than any one else and it's more than physical. However she's not like most Christian women her age, she doesn't have the desire for any man even though she's never had a bad experience. In fact I would call her pure and innocent with regards to men. She says she would like to have children some day but she's not ready right now. It's highly unusual to meet someone like this but I know I didn't find her by accident - I didn't even look for her. I don't know what I should do. Should I just wait until she says she's ready or should I say something to her? There's no urgency on my part - I just want to know what is the right thing to do.
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Roughly half of all marriages don't last.  So, at least a good percentage of people think (wrongly) that they are ready for marriage.

I didn't answer your question.

I have a question.  Have you been dating this young lady?  Or are you thinking waaayyy ahead?
 
If you have to ask...you aint ready
 
truthdetector said:
brianb said:
Is commitment all that is necessary - because I've got that?

Also another question.
There's this girl (actually she's 30 so she's more woman than girl) and I like her more than any one else and it's more than physical. However she's not like most Christian women her age, she doesn't have the desire for any man even though she's never had a bad experience. In fact I would call her pure and innocent with regards to men. She says she would like to have children some day but she's not ready right now. It's highly unusual to meet someone like this but I know I didn't find her by accident - I didn't even look for her. I don't know what I should do. Should I just wait until she says she's ready or should I say something to her? There's no urgency on my part - I just want to know what is the right thing to do.
Click to expand...

Roughly half of all marriages don't last.  So, at least a good percentage of people think (wrongly) that they are ready for marriage.

I didn't answer your question.

I have a question.  Have you been dating this young lady?  Or are you thinking waaayyy ahead?
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There's be no dating because the deal is she's not interested in men right now - she is straight of course. She says she'd love to be married some day but it's like she doesn't any particular kind of man in mind right now which I guess is a good thing for me. It's not like she's looking for some really good looking guy or something. She's passed that any ways at her age.
 
T-Bone said:
If you have to ask...you aint ready
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So what do you mean?

I think I'm just as ready as a lot of people. I'm mentally stable and have above average intellect and still physically strong actually I'm stronger than I've ever been. There are lots of guys who don't have all that and they are happily married. To me I think as long as I am committed both physically and mentally/spiritually to one woman than I'm ready. I see a lot of women out there and there is just no one out there that comes close to her. I don't just want to marry or be in a relationship with any Christian or any one in my denomination.  Also she is financially independent so money is not a problem for her - I would get a job if I moved out to where she lives. I'm thinking may be I should get a job there any ways because there are not many good jobs where I live but that's a separate matter all together. A guy should have a job not only for personal reasons and because it is right but also to have money to buy things for her. I would have to get a job that pays me twice what I get paid right now to do that. This is not to say that life has to be perfect - it is for better or for worse after all and you can't always get what you want.
 
Not trying to burst any bubbles, and not trying to claim absolute knowledge of the fairer sex, but generally when a woman/gal tells you she's not looking, it means, in a polite way, you're not the one she's looking for.  Or in some cases it may be that she's just coming off a bad relationship, and needs time to decompress.  From what you stated about her, it sounds like there's been no recent relationships, so that wouldn't be the case.  And of course there's a chance that if you hang around long enough, without being too pushy and intrusive, that persistence may pay off and she could come around.  From what you've said about her, given her age and general outlook on life and relationships, I wouldn't hold my breath.
 
I asked a girl out once, and she told me she "wasn't ready for that right now."  Around a year later, she was married to someone else she had met at school overseas (unbeknownst to me).

So I'd ditto what LAMER says: it's a polite way of saying she's not interested in you right now.

Also, we're still friends.
 
T-Bone said:
If you have to ask...you aint ready
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Very true...at the same time, you're never ready.  :)
 
brianb said:
T-Bone said:
If you have to ask...you aint ready
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So what do you mean?

I think I'm just as ready as a lot of people. I'm mentally stable and have above average intellect and still physically strong actually I'm stronger than I've ever been. There are lots of guys who don't have all that and they are happily married. To me I think as long as I am committed both physically and mentally/spiritually to one woman than I'm ready. I see a lot of women out there and there is just no one out there that comes close to her. I don't just want to marry or be in a relationship with any Christian or any one in my denomination.  Also she is financially independent so money is not a problem for her - I would get a job if I moved out to where she lives. I'm thinking may be I should get a job there any ways because there are not many good jobs where I live but that's a separate matter all together. A guy should have a job not only for personal reasons and because it is right but also to have money to buy things for her. I would have to get a job that pays me twice what I get paid right now to do that. This is not to say that life has to be perfect - it is for better or for worse after all and you can't always get what you want.
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The vast majority of everything you mentioned in this post is nothing I would consider qualifications for or against marriage. The fact that you think it is is problematic.
 
T-Bone said:
If you have to ask...you aint ready
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What he said.

(Beacause, if she is in love with you and vice versa, the Marines, and Navy Seals would be able to keep yins away from each other.)
 
If the behemoth chick in the bikini thread tripped your trigger at all you are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo past ready for marriage.

"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." I Cor. 7:2
 
brianb said:
T-Bone said:
If you have to ask...you aint ready
Click to expand...

So what do you mean?

I think I'm just as ready as a lot of people. I'm mentally stable and have above average intellect and still physically strong actually I'm stronger than I've ever been. There are lots of guys who don't have all that and they are happily married. To me I think as long as I am committed both physically and mentally/spiritually to one woman than I'm ready. I see a lot of women out there and there is just no one out there that comes close to her. I don't just want to marry or be in a relationship with any Christian or any one in my denomination.  Also she is financially independent so money is not a problem for her - I would get a job if I moved out to where she lives. I'm thinking may be I should get a job there any ways because there are not many good jobs where I live but that's a separate matter all together. A guy should have a job not only for personal reasons and because it is right but also to have money to buy things for her. I would have to get a job that pays me twice what I get paid right now to do that. This is not to say that life has to be perfect - it is for better or for worse after all and you can't always get what you want.
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Doesn't seem then you really have to ask...you seem to be ready...that's what I mean!
 
This guy wasn't ready for marriage, although it's pretty clear he didn't have sex before marriage.

{{{removed by request}}}
 
Castor could you do me a favor and take that one off?
 
Anchor said:
If the behemoth chick in the bikini thread tripped your trigger at all you are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo past ready for marriage.

"Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." I Cor. 7:2
Click to expand...

I can honestly say that that picture had no effect on me. I'm totally neutral to it. It takes a lot to gross me out.
 
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