Dealing with divorce.

[ALAYMAN]

A family who are church members leave your church, backslide and live immorally for a long period of time.  This sort of lifestyle is by and large a pattern for their adult life, though they profess to be saved.  They end up getting divorced.  Years go by and one of the members comes back to your church, married to somebody else.  If they want to become members, do you do anything to determine the circumstances of the divorce, or welcome them as new members no questions asked?

 

[Mathew Ward]

If circumstances for divorce are part of your requirement for membership then I missed reading that portion of Scripture.

 

[ALAYMAN]

If circumstances for divorce are part of your requirement for membership then I missed reading that portion of Scripture.

So if a member of your church gets divorced without Biblical warrant and then gets remarried you don't believe the church should involve themselves in any part of a disciplinary process?

 

[Mathew Ward]

I thought immorality was a biblical warrant.

 

[ALAYMAN]

I thought immorality was a biblical warrant.

Is divorce without Biblical warrant immoral?

 

[ALAYMAN]

Did the church fail the couple years ago by not enacting restoration discipline then?

They absented themselves from church authority of their own accord, abandoning it completely, living licentiously, then divorcing.

 

[rsc2a]

They left the church, and one came back remarried to someone else. What are you going to do to resolve the situation, make the one individual divorce the person they are currently married to?

 

[lnf]

Maybe I shouldn't chime in here, because I'm no great Bible scholar, but...

...if your intention is to chase them out of your church, ask away.

 

[Mathew Ward]

I thought immorality was a biblical warrant.

Is divorce without Biblical warrant immoral?

If you believe that it is then every couple in your church that had divorce in anyone's background must be questioned and disciplined if the divorce is not a Biblical warrant.

 

[ALAYMAN]

They left the church, and one came back remarried to someone else. What are you going to do to resolve the situation, make the one individual divorce the person they are currently married to?

This answer is analogous to when the Fundy says that all people who drink beer will eventually go on a 6-month bender.

 

[ALAYMAN]

If you believe that it is then every couple in your church that had divorce in anyone's background must be questioned and disciplined if the divorce is not a Biblical warrant.

You didn't answer my question.

 

[Mathew Ward]

You are right I did not.  But your original question about the folks for membership was answered.  Before we rush into all of these what if's I figured it would be best to turn them back to you. Now if you believe that all divorces that lack Biblical warrant are immoral, do you plan to interview any couple that has divorce in their background and discipline them?

 

[ALAYMAN]

You are right I did not.  But your original question about the folks for membership was answered.

I'm not sure what you mean.  Could you clarify?

  Before we rush into all of these what if's I figured it would be best to turn them back to you. Now if you believe that all divorces that lack Biblical warrant are immoral, do you plan to interview any couple that has divorce in their background and discipline them?

If the church has knowledge of the divorce, and that it was not for Biblically justifiable reasons, then it seems warranted to make sure that they are at least aware of the Biblical expectations for marriage, and that repentance for the grievous wrong has taken place.  I don't think it would be improper to see that the one who was guilty of the improper actions in the divorce make some sort of effort (if they have not already done so) to seek forgiveness for their wrongs.  And if child support issues were in view that should also be dealt with to make sure that Biblically the individual is shouldering their proper care for the children.

 

[rsc2a]

They left the church, and one came back remarried to someone else. What are you going to do to resolve the situation, make the one individual divorce the person they are currently married to?

This answer is analogous to when the Fundy says that all people who drink beer will eventually go on a 6-month bender.

Yes...it's absurd. Kind of like trying to initiate church discipline on someone for something that happened years ago.

 

[ALAYMAN]

Yes...it's absurd. Kind of like trying to initiate church discipline on someone for something that happened years ago.

Well, next time, it would save keystrokes, and be a refreshing change from your usual snark, if you you'd just straightforwardly say, "that's absurd to discipline somebody for something that happened years ago".

 

[Castor Muscular]

 

[ALAYMAN]

Let's get back on track.  For those who've followed the thread so far, please notice that I haven't claimed that the OP scenario demands church discipline, but rather have merely asked how the situation should be handled, and ultimately if it could/should involve discipline, particularly if there is still a lack of repentance regarding the circumstances that led to the divorce.

The reactions thus far make me wonder if most people think the church should have no dealings in the divorce even if it were to be occurring while the members were actively attending the church while the divorce is taking place.  Is this what some of you believe?

 

[rsc2a]

Let's get back on track.  For those who've followed the thread so far, please notice that I haven't claimed that the OP scenario demands church discipline, but rather have merely asked how the situation should be handled, and ultimately if it could/should involve discipline, particularly if there is still a lack of repentance regarding the circumstances that led to the divorce.

It really depends on the circumstances. If a woman flees her marriage because her husband is making death threats, I'm not going to worry about "a lack of repentance regarding the circumstances that led to the divorce" when she tries to join my church.

[quote author=ALAYMAN]The reactions thus far make me wonder if most people think the church should have no dealings in the divorce even if it were to be occurring while the members were actively attending the church while the divorce is taking place.  Is this what some of you believe?[/quote]

Not me.

 

[JrChurch]

It would be prudent to give time for the Holy Spirit to work on their hearts.  There is a reason they are in church and time will tell if they are just there to attend without any further commitment, or if they desire to grow and serve.  If they desire to start serving the Lord, they will probably want to talk with the Pastor about their past.  Repentance and restoration are so wondrous when they are brought forth by conviction from the Holy Spirit. 

 

[ALAYMAN]

It would be prudent to give time for the Holy Spirit to work on their hearts.  There is a reason they are in church and time will tell if they are just there to attend without any further commitment, or if they desire to grow and serve.  If they desire to start serving the Lord, they will probably want to talk with the Pastor about their past.  Repentance and restoration are so wondrous when they are brought forth by conviction from the Holy Spirit.

Well, you just take all the fightin' fun out of a thread now don't ya.


Excellent answer.


But just to try to flesh out the "repentance and restoration" aspect of your great answer, what if the guilty party claimed that they were repentant but you knew that they hadn't attempted to ask forgiveness for their wrongs done to the former spouse, and/or they weren't trying to provide care/support for their children?