I have read Becky’s account, and then Troy’s and Bud’s. I went to a competing Christian school, and also went to FBT for a short while. Here’s my take:
It was difficult learning what happened. But having gone through IBT churches since a teenager, it’s no longer surprising when I learn these things because I found that there’s no protective shield from God. A girl from my high school got pregnant, and she had what seemed like good Christian parents. These things happen just the same to church members like the rest of people. So that was a big eye opener I had to process, that the presumption of innocence and purity was a wishful story book than reality. In my Christian school, hardly any returned after graduating because it’s all so legalistic and the sermons are always geared towards ripping you apart as a person, that you must always be thinking of your sins while simultaneously praising God that they’ve been washed away. For example, I am a very guilt conscious person, high anxiety, and I once sat through Troy’s sermon and he made the congregation feel guilty if we didn’t have the desire to always be at church. “You should always want to be here.” So, it wasn’t enough if you were always there. If you didn’t ALWAYS want to be there, it might be sin on your part. Well, ridiculous. Life can’t always be nonstop worship, self-flagellation, and eating unleavened bread and believing your sinful if your mind gets bored and unhappy from the lack of stimulation. And then this other time, I sat through a Sunday school and the teacher’s sermon was about depression and how it’s impossible to be depressed if you’re a Christian. Well, I was very depressed during this phase of my life, and so I knew it was simply untrue and why give a demon anyway for something we’re supposedly immune from? I have a lot more stories than just these two examples, but the point is, the IBT style at FBT and elsewhere are very legalistic and can drive a lot of people crazy with the added requirements on top of the Bible.
Okay, getting back to the topic. Reading Becky’s account, I could see where she was coming from regarding the IBT method. However, I was disappointed that she threw in a ton of other personal things than just the big issue in the room: the rape allegation. This is a serious allegation, and I was surprised that it wasn’t at the top of her 16 page letter, and that only a few paragraphs addressed it. It was very vague and didn’t leave me a sense that it was her primary reason for divorce. When Tara Reade described what Joe Biden did, she described in detail to at least be clear that she can recall a specific time, place, and method used against her. With Becky, I wasn’t sure if she meant rape like how woke people define it, of it Bud truly raped her. But she should have focused everything on this, as of course this would be grounds for divorce if your husband does nothing about it. Instead, she even went into personal things like Troy having problems with the M word. Well, all guys do, so sorry to say that but it’s just true, and there’s no need to share embarrassing things like that. There’s also no need to be angry if people in church would like your attire to be more appropriate. I’ve seen Becky play the piano, and I have no problem with women dressing how she did, but her skirt was very high one time and I could EASILY see how people sitting in the pews would object. I never said anything, but when the church code calls for skirts no higher than between the knees and ankles, what more do you expect?
Now.. As for Bud, I do think he should have taken that polygraph and DNA test. I don’t buy that it was a no-win situation. Innocent people would be inclined to jump at the opportunity, I’d think. Think about it, if you pass, it makes her look like a liar and you can add to your testimony that you passed both blood and polygraph tests. Instant benefit of the doubt. But no? Why? Come on, Bud, that’s ridiculous.
I feel bad for the kids, particularly Nate. To be told that your grandfather might be your father is very traumatizing. If Becky is lying, what an awful thing. I checked his Twitter account to see how he’s doing, and he seems happy, but I did notice one of his tweets was against fundamentalism. And that’s the pattern I’ve seen recurring since I graduated high school long ago. People leave IBT churches because the fundamentalism leads to mental abuse, and it takes a while for the kids to let go of the resentment and feelings of betrayal. They’ve been raised to have a puritan mindset and a hope that God will give them a protective shield from sin, but it’s just not the reality. It’s a daily challenge, but fundamentalism is not the way to meet it.
