I won't go into my history here. But I did grow up "in the system". I don't need a teen boy to tell me his story. I lived it. I know the locker room and the school hallways quite well. I am not clueless. I was not the popular kid. I suffered at the hands of many, who knows maybe even you. But I learned much from what I endured, well not so much from what I endured but what God did for me when I forgave those who had to grow up and disciplined by God for their ways. We are all growing in grace. Unfortunately many have had their growth stifled and believe that everyone stopped growing and are exactly the same as hey were 35 years ago. Hurt will do that. It stifles growth and I have seen my share. I just know what I did to deal with it. Hurts that man causes others cannot be remedied by man. Purity of a girl that has been defrauded cannot be restored. Injury done to the Psyche of a young man who is tormented by peers and/or teachers cannot be fixed by an apology or even criminal justice. I am surely not justifying these things and do not think human justice should not be served but it in no way fixes what happened. There is no restorative justice at the hands of man. When I was a young man and I was struggling with absolute hatred for some who mistreated me and a wise slightly older couple said to me, "sometimes when you are young you make some stupid mistakes that live with others for a lifetime" I understood that. I had made dumb mistakes myself, not that injured others but certainly dumb mistakes. It was the first glimmer of my heart softening to allow God to start working on my heart.
I found that the same Savior who saved me also had some amazing things to further do in my life and he miraculously given me a great deal of justice and it was done for me personally. God gave me back everything that was taken and he healed my heart. What Satan meant for Evil God took and made for Good. No man can tell you to forgive someone who has harmed you. To do so just reinjures the victim. I can only tell you that I came to the place where God worked in my heart to do so.
I don't discount your story. Never have. I have seen too much. I have lived too much. I have also seen what God has done in my life when I gave it to Him.
Many who read these stories combine it to their own stories and just use them to reject God. They take your story and compound it with there story and you end up with entire internet forums of people just taking the knives out of the drawer and stabbing themselves over and over again, rehearsing their stories and your stories and quite quickly the original injury is compounded until they have completely left the faith. I know you want to try to save people and tell them there is another way. I don't think the internet forum writers who are doing it for this cause are having the desired effect. Are we rescuing the perishing here or throwing them an anchor? Just something to think about. I believe had the internet been around when I was going through my young adulthood it would have solidified my anger to the point that the things I only fantasized and dreamt about doing to my antagonists would have perhaps played out in real life. Yes I was that angry.
I don't know maybe some find it cathartic but reading around the internet a bit for many It is NOT cathartic whatsoever.
