Retaining our young people into adulthood

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sword

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Studies show religions in general  are doing a poor retaining young people into adulthood.

Though Baptists fare better than some religions, 40% do not retain the faith they were raised in as adults. I have read stats that the retention rate among IFB churches falls below a 50% retention rate.

What are we doing wrong as fundamentalist and what can be done to stem the exodus of young adults. Why are IFB young people leaving as soon as they become adults?

2008 study
http://cara.georgetown.edu/rel022808.pdf

2012 study
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/geneveith/2012/07/religious-retention-rates/

 
Reasons I left fundamentalism after growing up as a fundamentalist:

1. False teaching
2. Excessive (ab)use of authority
3. Incredible abundance of hypocrisy (probably a result of numbers 1 and 2 above)

But I am speaking only for my experience.
 
I don't know why, but the question brought this to mind:

Paul had to deal with church members who had sex with their father's wife, got drunk at the Lord's supper and ate up all the food before everyone had arrived. 

Fundies have to deal with people who the pastor thinks might have some unconfessed sin, or eat the cracker 30 seconds before everyone else does.  Or -- God forbid -- someone who volunteers to be a designated driver. 

 
There is also the fact that, when it comes to the marketplace of ideas, it is very difficult for major aspects of fundamentalism to compete with the alternatives. It is no accident that a lot of folks leave that particular faith tradition at a time when they are becoming more exposed to other ideas.
 
Maybe part would be, what the children see at home (parents) is not what they see at church (parents).


When my children were younger they were very good at catching when I did something I told them not to do, It made me realize I needed to be true to what I taught my children! They held me accountable. I don't have perfect children, but so far so good-My children like going to church, they are active in volunteering in different departments and they are in the choir and orchestra. My son attends college in South Carolina. I told him I expected him to go to church Sunday Morning, I understand if he didn't make it to Sunday night or Wednesday because of his school load and sports.  It hasn't been until recently that I realized that God will not strike me dead if I don't go to a church service!!

 
Fundamentalism (at least the part that I'm a part of) is not open to any constructive criticism.  Instead of dealing with the mistakes and flaws of our past, most pastors defend them tenaciously. The only possible thing that kid's can take away from this is that fundamentalism must be perfect - at least that's what its held out to be.
So when you hold things up as perfect, and people inevitably find out that they are not, you have a recipe for disillusionment.
Here is my take.  I think that if you want to keep young people in fundamentalism, then we have to own up to fundamentalist history.  It's seems counterintuitive, but in todays environment, I think the way to keep young people is to own up with, then deal with, our movement's flaws. 
 
Castor Muscular said:

I don't know why, but the question brought this to mind:

Paul had to deal with church members who had sex with their father's wife, got drunk at the Lord's supper and ate up all the food before everyone had arrived. 

Fundies have to deal with people who the pastor thinks might have some unconfessed sin, or eat the cracker 30 seconds before everyone else does.  Or -- God forbid -- someone who volunteers to be a designated driver.

The fundies have to deal with the sex fiends and whatnot, too.

But since David was an adulterer too, it's all good.

Unfortunately, there's no one in the Bible to justify eating communion out of turn.
 
Ransom said:
But since David was an adulterer too, it's all good.
Click to expand...

Yeah, and it's only adultery once.  After that, it's legit marriage.
 
Maybe young people see their parents not walking the talk, maybe  the reason many of them are leaving the church.
 
Ransom said:
Castor Muscular said:

I don't know why, but the question brought this to mind:

Paul had to deal with church members who had sex with their father's wife, got drunk at the Lord's supper and ate up all the food before everyone had arrived. 

Fundies have to deal with people who the pastor thinks might have some unconfessed sin, or eat the cracker 30 seconds before everyone else does.  Or -- God forbid -- someone who volunteers to be a designated driver.

The fundies have to deal with the sex fiends and whatnot, too.

But since David was an adulterer too, it's all good.

Unfortunately, there's no one in the Bible to justify eating communion out of turn.
Click to expand...

Good point. A fundy pastor I had for a couple of months (and HAC grad) used David's multiple wives as an excuse to have a mistress in conjuction with his wife. His wife wouldn't take it so she left him. He got canned from the church, married the mistress and took over a larger congregation with a Christian school in another state.
 
4everfsu said:

Maybe young people see their parents not walking the talk, maybe  the reason many of them are leaving the church.

The major reason I've seen for young people abandoning church was that they were not being properly fed spiritually. They weren't being taught what they believed or, perhaps more importantly, why they believed it.  So when they became adults and went out into the world on their own, they were unprepared for the challenge of a culture that is increasingly hostile to Christianity.

In other words, to borrow Jesus' soil analogy, they couldn't put down deep roots in shallow earth.
 
If you want to retain young people into adulthood, start teaching them (by word and deed) how to integrate their faith (and, by this, I mean a whole lot more than "beliefs") with life in the real world, instead of in a fundy bubble. That way, when they see things that contradict their beliefs (and, by this, I mean "beliefs"), they will have a legitimate foundation to stand on when they start asking hard questions (as they should) about those beliefs.
 
rsc2a said:
There is also the fact that, when it comes to the marketplace of ideas, it is very difficult for major aspects of fundamentalism to compete with the alternatives. It is no accident that a lot of folks leave that particular faith tradition at a time when they are becoming more exposed to other ideas.
Click to expand...

This phenomenon is not exclusive in Christianity, nor limited to fundamentalism.  Ransom's answer of making sure people know the "why" of their belief is probably the most effective means of protecting against the loss of young people to the cultural onslaught to their faith.

But I as to the OP, I also think that many of those that turn from the faith are simply tares, doing what tares do.
 
It appears many fundamental Pastors children are not faring any better than the rest of us when it comes to adult children. If the problem is in the home as several have suggested then what does that say about the leaders in fundamentalism?

Is the traditional IFB model broken. Do we need to change and if so how?

If change is needed can we hope to see it with the current generation of pastors. Is the prospects for change any better with the next generation of pastors that are coming on the scene?
 
sword said:
It appears many fundamental Pastors children are not faring any better than the rest of us when it comes to adult children. If the problem is in the home as several have suggested then what does that say about the leaders in fundamentalism?

Is the traditional IFB model broken. Do we need to change and if so how?

If change is needed can we hope to see it with the current generation of pastors. Is the prospects for change any better with the next generation of pastors that are coming on the scene?
Click to expand...

If by "the traditional IFB model" you mean the one where there's a works based sanctification and performance-based Christianity at the forefront of what should be a life lived in Christ, surrendered to the Spirit, then yes, those misdirected quasi-legalistic models are trash worthy of the dumpster.  A lot of those that leave the fold when they grow up do so because they begin to comprehend and experience true grace-based teaching and living.
 
Many fundy kids give in to peer pressure way to easy...because they have been doing it most of their lives already.

I like many here, grew up in the fundy bubble. (And it can just be a "Christian" bubble, not just "fundy"). Fundy daycare, fundy kindergarten, fundy k-11 (graduated one year early), fundy college. Lived in a neighborhood of 100 homes with about 30 of those home populated by families that attended my church and Christian school. I had ZERO friends outside the fundy/Christian bubble!

When it's time to finally live in the real world you have to be prepared for it. Fortunately for me I always liked to play devil's advocate and enjoyed good arguments and read alot. Not always the case. When you finally have to "go out in the big, bad world" it's easy to fall to that peer pressure because you were never allowed to make any decisions on your own. IMHO of course.
 
NOT growing up in a "fundy bubble" or "Christian bubble" is probably the best thing that happened to me growing up.  Then when nothing else was working, I was able to rebel by running TO Christianity instead of FROM it.  :P 
 
A vast majority of Baptists cannot argue for their faith.  They are too lazy to understand the tenants of their faith, and why they are are important.

Making them ripe to be swayed by simple, yet logical, nontruths and feel-goodisms (often inclusional) that erode away their foundation until there is seemingly only contradictions on which to stand.
 
sword said:
Studies show religions in general  are doing a poor retaining young people into adulthood.

Though Baptists fare better than some religions, 40% do not retain the faith they were raised in as adults. I have read stats that the retention rate among IFB churches falls below a 50% retention rate.

What are we doing wrong as fundamentalist and what can be done to stem the exodus of young adults. Why are IFB young people leaving as soon as they become adults?

2008 study
http://cara.georgetown.edu/rel022808.pdf

2012 study
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/geneveith/2012/07/religious-retention-rates/
Click to expand...


Stop pounding their lives full of rules.  Love them, develop a relationship with them.  Love them.  Be an example of the grace of God to them.  When you fail, don't hide it.
 
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