Not To Be Mean to Blondes...
- Thread starter T-Bone
- Start date
LOL!!! Too funny indeed!!!
I loved it when she said that she was making sense but he was not.
I sure hope that was an act she was putting on.
I loved it when she said that she was making sense but he was not.
I sure hope that was an act she was putting on.
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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help
me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
started.'
Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'
The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says,
'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'
He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax.. Let's have a
nice cup of tea, and then ..' he said with a deep sigh, . .. . .. . .. .
'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'
me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
started.'
Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'
The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says,
'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'
He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax.. Let's have a
nice cup of tea, and then ..' he said with a deep sigh, . .. . .. . .. .
'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'
C
Castor Muscular
Guest
A big Aussie walks into a bar carrying his pet crocodile. He offers a bet to everyone in the bar: "I bet I can put my arm inside this croc's mouth for 1 minute, and then take it out unscathed! If I can do it, you all have to buy me a drink."
The patrons at the bar all agree. So he opens the mouth of the croc, puts his arm in the mouth, and then closes the mouth. He lets the croc bite down on his arm for one full minute. Then he grabs a beer bottle and smacks the croc on the head, "Bonk!!" The croc opens its mouth, and the Aussie pulls his arm out without even a scratch.
Everyone at the bar cheers and buys him a drink.
After a while, he stands up again and says to the people at the bar, "Does anyone else want to try it?" A few minutes pass, and then a blonde raises her hand. She says, "I'll try it, but only if you promise not to hit me so hard on the head with that beer bottle."
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A blonde and her girlfriend are at the airport. The blonde is waiting for a childhood friend to arrive. They haven't seen each other for 20 years. The brunette says, "Do you think you'll recognize her?" The blonde says, "I don't know. She's been gone a really long time." The brunette says, "Well, do you think she'll recognize you?" The blonde says, "Of course she'll recognize ME. I haven't been gone at all."
===========================
A pilot on a flight to New York gets on the intercom and tells the passengers, "I'm afraid we lost the use of one engine. Don't worry, we can fly just fine with three engines. But we'll have to add an hour to our flight time." A bit later, he says, "Looks like we lost another engine. Still nothing to worry about, but we'll have to add two hours to the flight time." A bit later he says, "I'm afraid we lost engine three. But don't worry, we can fly with just one engine. We'll just have to add three hours to our flight time."
Just then a blonde says, exasperated, "Well, that's just great. If we lose that last engine, it'll take forever to get to New York."
The patrons at the bar all agree. So he opens the mouth of the croc, puts his arm in the mouth, and then closes the mouth. He lets the croc bite down on his arm for one full minute. Then he grabs a beer bottle and smacks the croc on the head, "Bonk!!" The croc opens its mouth, and the Aussie pulls his arm out without even a scratch.
Everyone at the bar cheers and buys him a drink.
After a while, he stands up again and says to the people at the bar, "Does anyone else want to try it?" A few minutes pass, and then a blonde raises her hand. She says, "I'll try it, but only if you promise not to hit me so hard on the head with that beer bottle."
===========================
A blonde and her girlfriend are at the airport. The blonde is waiting for a childhood friend to arrive. They haven't seen each other for 20 years. The brunette says, "Do you think you'll recognize her?" The blonde says, "I don't know. She's been gone a really long time." The brunette says, "Well, do you think she'll recognize you?" The blonde says, "Of course she'll recognize ME. I haven't been gone at all."
===========================
A pilot on a flight to New York gets on the intercom and tells the passengers, "I'm afraid we lost the use of one engine. Don't worry, we can fly just fine with three engines. But we'll have to add an hour to our flight time." A bit later, he says, "Looks like we lost another engine. Still nothing to worry about, but we'll have to add two hours to the flight time." A bit later he says, "I'm afraid we lost engine three. But don't worry, we can fly with just one engine. We'll just have to add three hours to our flight time."
Just then a blonde says, exasperated, "Well, that's just great. If we lose that last engine, it'll take forever to get to New York."