Meeting my Paternal Father after 39 years.

[16KJV11]

My mother and Paternal Father divorced in 1974, I was 8.
In order to not have to pay child support, my father gave up all rights to see us.
He chose not to correspond with me in any way, so I virtually grew up without him.
He was not good to my mother inflicting physical and emotional abuse.
He was also an agnostic and not a very emotionally stable person.
So, I have not seen or heard from him since 1974.
As an adult, I have thought many times about him, but have not contacted him out of respect for my mother who did not abandon us, as well as not wanting him to have an adverse influence on my children, of whom I am trying to raise to fear the Lord.

Since my mother passed away several months ago, the Lord has put it upon my heart to try to contact him and at least initiate a relationship in order to present the Gospel of Jesus Christ to him.
I have been praying to be able to locate him and even tried to contact a half brother over Linkedin.
My half brother responded to me, but when I asked him to let our father know that I wanted to talk to him, I heard no more.

Several years ago, my sister told me that my paternal father was Vice President of the local exotic car club.
I heard about a month ago that the club in this area was going to host a show, right here in the town I pastor in.
I felt for sure that he would be there showing his cars.
When I arrived at the show, the Club VP told me that my father wasn't going to be there, that he no longer had those kind of cars or belonged to the club.
We talked for a while and I revealed that I was a son of the man we were talking about.
I asked him if he would contact my father for me and let me know that I was trying to contact him.
Apparently he honored my request because a few days later, while on a short vacation, I received a phone call from my father.
It was interesting, the first question he asked me was how in the world did I know that he owned those kinds of cars and would be at the show?
He asked that we meet just a few blocks away from my church in a park this coming Tuesday.

As you all may understand, I am a bit apprehensive over the meeting, but I realize that this is God's will for my life and that God has His omniscient and omnipotent hands covering this whole situation.
I am constantly amazed how God lovingly works things out when we seek to do His will.
My desire is that my you, my forum friends lift up this situation along with me that my paternal father will trust Christ as his only hope for heaven.
As an addendum, I just don't know how much of a relationship that I should have with him, but I trust that God will make it plain.

Thank you for reading this, your prayers and your friendship!

 

[RebeccasRants]

Praying for you and your father.  May the Lord give you words and guide you.

 

[IFB X-Files]

I'm glad you've done this.  Now, you don't know him and he doesn't know you so don't be overly anxious about it.  Don't bring up the bad past.  If he does then try to move forward.  Nobody can change the past.  You're both starting fresh, make it a good visit.

 

[16KJV11]

I'm glad you've done this.  Now, you don't know him and he doesn't know you so don't be overly anxious about it.  Don't bring up the bad past.  If he does then try to move forward.  Nobody can change the past.  You're both starting fresh, make it a good visit.

I will endeavor to do this.
Thanks.

 

[RAIDER]

I believe you are making a wise move, my friend.  Just be careful not to have your expectations too high.

 

[16KJV11]

I believe you are making a wise move, my friend.  Just be careful not to have your expectations too high.

You are correct in your assessment.
My paternal father is an agnostic who has lived materialistically all of his life.
My desire is to do what I am supposed to do: Present to him the Gospel and show forgiveness.
Basically, I will leave it in his court to do what he wishes.
I will be as kind, tactful and gracious as possible.

 

[IFB X-Files]

I will be as kind, tactful and gracious as possible.

Can HACkers do this?

 

[16KJV11]

I will be as kind, tactful and gracious as possible.

Can HACkers do this?

Good question, I will need a special dispensation from King Hacker Raider so that can depart from my Hacker ways, if for only 2 hours! ???

 

[RAIDER]

I will be as kind, tactful and gracious as possible.

Can HACkers do this?

Good question, I will need a special dispensation from King Hacker Raider so that can depart from my Hacker ways, if for only 2 hours! ???

If you would allow me to speak ex cathedra for a moment................Yes, you may depart for a 2 hour period, my son, but you must spend an estra 4 hours on your bus route on Saturday.

 

[16KJV11]

I will be as kind, tactful and gracious as possible.

Can HACkers do this?

Good question, I will need a special dispensation from King Hacker Raider so that can depart from my Hacker ways, if for only 2 hours! ???

If you would allow me to speak ex cathedra for a moment................Yes, you may depart for a 2 hour period, my son, but you must spend an estra 4 hours on your bus route on Saturday.

My father, the punishment is too hard to bear!

 

[RAIDER]

I will be as kind, tactful and gracious as possible.

Can HACkers do this?

Good question, I will need a special dispensation from King Hacker Raider so that can depart from my Hacker ways, if for only 2 hours! ???

If you would allow me to speak ex cathedra for a moment................Yes, you may depart for a 2 hour period, my son, but you must spend an estra 4 hours on your bus route on Saturday.

My father, the punishment is too hard to bear!

When you can take the Roman's Road tract from my hand, you will be ready.

 

[IFB X-Files]

When you can take the Roman's Road tract from my hand, you will be ready.

Wow, you're really dating yourself with that one.

 

[Bravo]

So how did it go?

 

[16KJV11]

So how did it go?

The meeting doesn't happen until this Tuesday, August 20.

 

[Sherryh]

We will be praying give us an update

 

[16KJV11]

Tomorrow is the big day. ???
Am a bit apprehensive!

 

[Still There]

Take it slow.  Does he know you're a pastor?  Have pictures of your kids, your wife, tell him what you've done the last several years, schooling, what you're doing now, ease into the salvation part.  If you go headstrong into it, you'll totally blow it.  Don't say anything about him leaving you and your mother.  At the end of the conversation if you believe you'd like to continue to bond, ask him if he'd like to visit with your family at a restaurant and take it from there.  Good luck, please let us know. 

 

[16KJV11]

Take it slow.  Does he know you're a pastor?  Have pictures of your kids, your wife, tell him what you've done the last several years, schooling, what you're doing now, ease into the salvation part.  If you go headstrong into it, you'll totally blow it.  Don't say anything about him leaving you and your mother.  At the end of the conversation if you believe you'd like to continue to bond, ask him if he'd like to visit with your family at a restaurant and take it from there.  Good luck, please let us know.

I can hear my father ask:  How does a man born to Jewish heritage and was raised Roman Catholic, end up being a Baptist preacher?
Also. I am a bit concerned with how to react with any accusations against my mother or excuses as to why he gave up all rights to see us or why he never so much as sent me a birthday card.

 

[patriotic]

Take it slow.  Does he know you're a pastor?  Have pictures of your kids, your wife, tell him what you've done the last several years, schooling, what you're doing now, ease into the salvation part.  If you go headstrong into it, you'll totally blow it.  Don't say anything about him leaving you and your mother.  At the end of the conversation if you believe you'd like to continue to bond, ask him if he'd like to visit with your family at a restaurant and take it from there.  Good luck, please let us know.

I can hear my father ask:  How does a man born to Jewish heritage and was raised Roman Catholic, end up being a Baptist preacher?
Also. I am a bit concerned with how to react with any accusations against my mother or excuses as to why he gave up all rights to see us or why he never so much as sent me a birthday card.

You may "hear" him ask those questions or give excuses or make accusations in your head, but in reality, you don't know that any of those will happen.  Sufficient to the day.....

Just remember to breathe.  Breathing is good for you. 

I have been praying and will continue to pray for this meeting.

 

[lnf]

One thing that has really helped me deal with my past and present is this:
_____ loved(s) me the best way they could(can) at the(this) time.

It doesn't change the facts as I understand them, but it has prevented a root of bitterness to take hold of my life.  Perhaps you can use something similar to this model if your father gives excuses or makes accusations against your mother.  I don't know...

As for how you became a Baptist preacher, just tell the truth.  I'm sure it's a big part of your personal testimony.

I'm a "nobody more special than anybody else", so I don't think my thoughts necessarily carry any weight, but I pray you find the place where you can rest in comfort no matter how your meeting goes.

Much prayer that you and your father will both walk away from tomorrow's meeting the better for it.