Laugh Of The Day 2-22-2012

HeDied4U

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** Help Wanted **

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."

;D  :o  8)
 
Two good ol' boys from West Virginia showed up at an airport to apply for a job. (Full disclosure, my dear wifey is from West Virginia and I would never dream of making fun of that glorious state or of its indigenous inhabitants.) The hiring manager looked at the first one and said, "You want a job? What in the world can you do at an airport?" "Why sir," said he, "I will have you know that I am a qualified pilot." "The manager looked at him and said, "A pilot, eh? I never would have guessed that. Go through there and get a uniform and we'll put you to work." The man happily strolled off.

The hiring manager looked at the second good ol' boy and said, "I suppose you're a pilot as well?" The man responded, "Oh no sire. I'se a woodcutter." The startled manager said, "A woodcutter? I have no use for a woodcutter at an airport. Go back home and quit wasting my time." "But sir," the applicant protested, "You hired my brother." The manager replied, "Your brother said that he was a pilot." The hapless applicant finally responded, "Of course he is a pilot, but he can't pilot until after I cut it."
 
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