I relayed my feelings to a few buddies and they feel similarly. Made me wonder how many enjoy their family get together's and how many dread them
You can skip my experience, and/or add your own. it is kindof a downer...
Regarding my wife's family, we have drunkenness and a so called lesbian niece. Her brother drinks alot, brag, show off. gets loud. Last year I decided no more family get togethers. Unfortunately my son and wife like to attend Christmas and Thanksgiving. So the air is thick....especially since her Dad keeps calling asking where they were
History:Most of her family look down on me for being a Contractor. So I always dreaded them. All her family are professionals. I had a school district account, regular work for over 15 yrs, employed a few employees but it didn't matter. I knew I married WAY UP so part of the shunning felt deserved. The economy took a dive so no $, now the school maintenance men do most of my work. Within a few yrs, I started a Company which flourished so her siblings did a 360. It felt STRANGE. Suddenly I am , smart, innovative, etc...who cares??? work is to get paid, that's it.
My inlaws are 86 & 87. Last Holiday he drove himself and wife home after a drink (she drank too) from a holiday get together at a Restaurant. He's a vegan, raised his family eating healthy but is trying to be cool for his son. My wife taught at Juvenile Hall until a few months ago but has not taken up any slack in caring for her parents. Sees them regularly but not adapting into a nurturing role most women do. I bring meals, ask about Doctor visits, clean a little...not much is needed right now. Hug them a lot but can't expect her to follow suit. They've never hugged before, ever, it embarrasses her. She buys them stuff they need frequently, calls them.
And, not sure if it was due to anxiety knowing we weren't showing up...but I asked wife to pray for me cause "My brain was sick". It gets sick every few years. She had me elaborate this time. I always thought she knew what "My brain is sick" meant. She thought it was anxiety. She sneakingly called my Dad, he came right over and laid down with me yesterday. Even as toddlers, we weren't allowed to be held, get on his lap. He would tell me that was gay, boys don't do that. Gay? I heard the word for years before understanding what it meant. Wondering if he still thought that, I started letting him out of his obligation but he cleared that up. It healed my brain, it still feels healed. It was incredible. My Mom committed suicide so I wonder if it scared him I'd follow suit. He cried part of the time, never saw him do so except after moms death. He got saved and got remarried mere weeks afterwards. To the first Christian lady he met.
Anyhow, my wife's Dad keeps calling here, asking why we didn't show up. He knew I felt sick, woke up with a cold and sore throat. I brought him food and presents this morning.
What should I do? I can't respond with the truth "You keep drinking, your son is an acloholic who brags and shows off, as is his son. And I was afraid of exposing my family to your son's daughter, my niece, who pushes the gay agenda with her partner. Though I don't know if her partner showed up.
Any advice is welcome by anyone, married or single. If not, no problem. Hope you all had a wonderful time with your family
Blessings to everyone
~Merry Christmas~
You can skip my experience, and/or add your own. it is kindof a downer...
Regarding my wife's family, we have drunkenness and a so called lesbian niece. Her brother drinks alot, brag, show off. gets loud. Last year I decided no more family get togethers. Unfortunately my son and wife like to attend Christmas and Thanksgiving. So the air is thick....especially since her Dad keeps calling asking where they were
History:Most of her family look down on me for being a Contractor. So I always dreaded them. All her family are professionals. I had a school district account, regular work for over 15 yrs, employed a few employees but it didn't matter. I knew I married WAY UP so part of the shunning felt deserved. The economy took a dive so no $, now the school maintenance men do most of my work. Within a few yrs, I started a Company which flourished so her siblings did a 360. It felt STRANGE. Suddenly I am , smart, innovative, etc...who cares??? work is to get paid, that's it.
My inlaws are 86 & 87. Last Holiday he drove himself and wife home after a drink (she drank too) from a holiday get together at a Restaurant. He's a vegan, raised his family eating healthy but is trying to be cool for his son. My wife taught at Juvenile Hall until a few months ago but has not taken up any slack in caring for her parents. Sees them regularly but not adapting into a nurturing role most women do. I bring meals, ask about Doctor visits, clean a little...not much is needed right now. Hug them a lot but can't expect her to follow suit. They've never hugged before, ever, it embarrasses her. She buys them stuff they need frequently, calls them.
And, not sure if it was due to anxiety knowing we weren't showing up...but I asked wife to pray for me cause "My brain was sick". It gets sick every few years. She had me elaborate this time. I always thought she knew what "My brain is sick" meant. She thought it was anxiety. She sneakingly called my Dad, he came right over and laid down with me yesterday. Even as toddlers, we weren't allowed to be held, get on his lap. He would tell me that was gay, boys don't do that. Gay? I heard the word for years before understanding what it meant. Wondering if he still thought that, I started letting him out of his obligation but he cleared that up. It healed my brain, it still feels healed. It was incredible. My Mom committed suicide so I wonder if it scared him I'd follow suit. He cried part of the time, never saw him do so except after moms death. He got saved and got remarried mere weeks afterwards. To the first Christian lady he met.
Anyhow, my wife's Dad keeps calling here, asking why we didn't show up. He knew I felt sick, woke up with a cold and sore throat. I brought him food and presents this morning.
What should I do? I can't respond with the truth "You keep drinking, your son is an acloholic who brags and shows off, as is his son. And I was afraid of exposing my family to your son's daughter, my niece, who pushes the gay agenda with her partner. Though I don't know if her partner showed up.
Any advice is welcome by anyone, married or single. If not, no problem. Hope you all had a wonderful time with your family
Blessings to everyone
~Merry Christmas~
