Sex offenders groom in order to "define reality" for victims and their community so that they agree with the abuser's distorted thoughts, beliefs, and values. Their purpose is to control others' perspectives. They gain control much like Rutledge describes Grima Wormtongue's hold on King Théodin, "as a classic example of a person who holds [humans] captive to unreality by calling black white, truth lies, and wisdom foolishness."
For example, I once had to intervene when I witnessed my daughter introduce her stuffed dolphin, Mr. Periwinkle, to her father, who as mentioned above is my former husband and a sex offender. He responded by telling her it was blue. She proclaimed, "No, he's purple." He continued to insist it was blue. Now technically the dolphin is a purplish-blue color.
However, the important thing here is that her father insisted she capitulate to his perspective. He refused to allow her to have a different perspective than the one he provided. Disagreeing with him over anything, no matter how minor, would result in withdrawal, victim-stancing, and/or escalating anger. This is one example of the insidious and subtle ways an abuser attempts to gain control and enforce their worldview.
If the abuser has a position of authority and a platform, they will use it to influence their community's views by establishing and reinforcing their distorted perspective.
