Children Relationships at Church

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Timothy

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My son is a very kind hearted boy, helpful, listens to the sermon, helps clean up, and the sort who will take time to talk with an elder lady after service before running outside to play. Many say he is a good boy and they complement my wife on raising him well. I like this about my son, but apparently it is costing his friendships with other boys. This concerns me.

Boys at Church won't let him sit next to them (even when they do it with other boys), play games after service, and they even say rude things that hurt my son. My daughter on the other hand is fairly popular with her friends and my son has been getting emotionally hurt at Church watching her sit with friends and get along well. Today he didn't ride on the hay-ride because nobody would make room for him. I found him alone with a big frown on his face - we had a talk about it and it hurt me to learn how rude the boys have been. Pastors son, youth pastors boys, etc ... they all seem to copy each others attitude.

So - my question is should the children at Church be more loving and kind to each other, or is it normal for it to be similar to a public school playground? Should my wife and I talk with the pastor and other parents about this?

Doesn't seem right the poor boy getting hurt at Church for being nice. He said to me he wishes he wasn't so nice and was more ruff like the other boys so they would accept him.
 
1.  Talk to the parents of the children first, then the pastors.
2.  Don't allow children to bully your son.  Go to the hayride and tell them to move and make room.  If this causes problems with the leadership, then you are at the wrong Church and need to find something else.
3.  Regardless of where kids are, they will act and behave in any manner the adults allow them to act. 

That is all.
 
Three questions-

1. Age?
2. Is he homeschooled (or was he)
3. is he working at grade level? (or close)

I'd consider
1. attending another church
2. enrolling him in karate (if he's interested),
3. heading every "extra biblical" event that your son might be interested in partaking of. Not assisting, HEADING it.

If he attends public school 5 days a wk,  awoken early again on Sundays = 6 days/7, that could be too much.
Top that with some hell-rides, it may be exhausting

Scripture models gatherings  as fellowship (with food), worship, prayer, bible study & baptism (maybe at a lake or inhouse)-  Otherwise it makes for a situation in which the goal becomes secular socialization thus by default, you loose Souls. "I don't fit in" is often heard by all ages. I would stick with the biblical model for church, getting involved in gatherings which have a goal. Done eating at Potluck? go home. Churches are more akin to the hood than a public schoolyard which is normally easier because it attracts more stable, normal kids. You can sort of walk away and leave them. It's wonderful he has a Dad like you. I'll add him to my prayers



 
Biker said:
Three questions-

1. Age?
2. Is he homeschooled (or was he)
3. is he working at grade level? (or close)
Click to expand...

My son just turned 11. He is home-schooled and in the 6th grade.

One thing I have noticed with the boys who are 12 and 13 is that they seem very caught up in their being "teens" .. they are now in the teen group ... this seems to play into their behavior around my son. My son isn't in the teen group yet since he is 11. Personally, I find 12 kind of early for teen group graduation. But, the group is from 12 to 18.
 
BandGuy said:
1.  Talk to the parents of the children first, then the pastors.
2.  Don't allow children to bully your son.  Go to the hayride and tell them to move and make room.  If this causes problems with the leadership, then you are at the wrong Church and need to find something else.
3.  Regardless of where kids are, they will act and behave in any manner the adults allow them to act. 

That is all.
Click to expand...

Good points - thank you.
 
They are afraid of him. They're afraid he will cramp their style and ruin the clique. Don't worry about it. It sounds like these boys are not the kind of boys your son should be hanging around with any ways even if they are pastor's sons. I believe they will grow out of it. They probably consider your son a nancy-boy though kids today use the word "gay".  He'll grow out of that too sooner than you think.
 
Timothy said:
My son is a very kind hearted boy, helpful, listens to the sermon, helps clean up, and the sort who will take time to talk with an elder lady after service before running outside to play. Many say he is a good boy and they complement my wife on raising him well. I like this about my son, but apparently it is costing his friendships with other boys. This concerns me.

Boys at Church won't let him sit next to them (even when they do it with other boys), play games after service, and they even say rude things that hurt my son. My daughter on the other hand is fairly popular with her friends and my son has been getting emotionally hurt at Church watching her sit with friends and get along well. Today he didn't ride on the hay-ride because nobody would make room for him. I found him alone with a big frown on his face - we had a talk about it and it hurt me to learn how rude the boys have been. Pastors son, youth pastors boys, etc ... they all seem to copy each others attitude.

So - my question is should the children at Church be more loving and kind to each other, or is it normal for it to be similar to a public school playground? Should my wife and I talk with the pastor and other parents about this?

Doesn't seem right the poor boy getting hurt at Church for being nice. He said to me he wishes he wasn't so nice and was more ruff like the other boys so they would accept him.
Click to expand...

Some people have low social intelligence skills. (The inability to know how to act around others in public.) Perhaps the young lad has picked up the malady from someone else I am thinking of on this forum.  (cough cough)
 
I say you take all the rebellious kids out to the city gates and stone them.
 
Bob L said:
Timothy said:
My son is a very kind hearted boy, helpful, listens to the sermon, helps clean up, and the sort who will take time to talk with an elder lady after service before running outside to play. Many say he is a good boy and they complement my wife on raising him well. I like this about my son, but apparently it is costing his friendships with other boys. This concerns me.

Boys at Church won't let him sit next to them (even when they do it with other boys), play games after service, and they even say rude things that hurt my son. My daughter on the other hand is fairly popular with her friends and my son has been getting emotionally hurt at Church watching her sit with friends and get along well. Today he didn't ride on the hay-ride because nobody would make room for him. I found him alone with a big frown on his face - we had a talk about it and it hurt me to learn how rude the boys have been. Pastors son, youth pastors boys, etc ... they all seem to copy each others attitude.

So - my question is should the children at Church be more loving and kind to each other, or is it normal for it to be similar to a public school playground? Should my wife and I talk with the pastor and other parents about this?

Doesn't seem right the poor boy getting hurt at Church for being nice. He said to me he wishes he wasn't so nice and was more ruff like the other boys so they would accept him.
Click to expand...

Some people have low social intelligence skills. (The inability to know how to act around others in public.) Perhaps the young lad has picked up the malady from someone else I am thinking of on this forum.  (cough cough)
Click to expand...

Kind of like what BandGuy posted ...

3.  Regardless of where kids are, they will act and behave in any manner the adults allow them to act.
 
Timothy said:
T-Bone said:
Hey, is your kid's name Rudolph?
Click to expand...

He does have red hair.  :o
Click to expand...
'
LOL...maybe someday he will use it to his advantage and then everyone will like him...who know's.
 
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