Bullying - what is the solution?

  • Thread starter Thread starter El Cid
  • Start date Start date
Bob L said:
I say beat the crap out of the bullies!
Click to expand...

That was always my personal solution. Sometimes I lost, and that just made me more determined to get better at fighting. And after years in Shito-ryu Karate and now JKD-based MMA, I don't lose very often. But it's been years now since I've been in a fight, other than at the dojo or a tournament.

As for the situation in the article, the school has no legit basis to deny the transfer, and they're also going too easy on bullies. If I were the parents, I'd raise hell.

And I'd also enroll my kids in martial arts, style depending more on the quality of the school than anything else. But they're in NYC, everything should be available.
 
Izdaari said:
Bob L said:
I say beat the crap out of the bullies!
Click to expand...

That was always my personal solution. Sometimes I lost, and that just made me more determined to get better at fighting. And after years in Shito-ryu Karate and now JKD-based MMA, I don't lose very often. But it's been years now since I've been in a fight, other than at the dojo or a tournament.

As for the situation in the article, the school has no legit basis to deny the transfer, and they're also going too easy on bullies. If I were the parents, I'd raise hell.

And I'd also enroll my kids in martial arts, style depending more on the quality of the school than anything else. But they're in NYC, everything should be available.
Click to expand...

I took a different tactic in dealing with bullies. I took up cross country track.    ;D
 
Izdaari said:
Bob L said:
I say beat the crap out of the bullies!
Click to expand...

That was always my personal solution. Sometimes I lost, and that just made me more determined to get better at fighting. And after years in Shito-ryu Karate and now JKD-based MMA, I don't lose very often. But it's been years now since I've been in a fight, other than at the dojo or a tournament.

As for the situation in the article, the school has no legit basis to deny the transfer, and they're also going too easy on bullies. If I were the parents, I'd raise hell.

And I'd also enroll my kids in martial arts, style depending more on the quality of the school than anything else. But they're in NYC, everything should be available.
Click to expand...

Yes become like Bruce Lee is always an alternative solution.  :D
 
El Cid said:
This seems to be in the news a lot lately.  What do you think is the solution? 

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/03/01/bullied-new-york-city-students-reportedly-want-out-brooklyn-high-school/?intcmp=trending


Personally I think the parents of the children should get more involved.  Talk to their children, take control of the pc, visit the school and talk to the bullies and teachers.  Teach Kung Fu to your child...
Click to expand...

As someone who was bullied quite a bit in my elementary and middle school years, I can truly say that having your parents talk to the bully (or the parents of a bully) is not always the best solution. Sometimes that just makes the bully angrier, and there not much else that's worse than an angrier bully when you're a kid. My solution was a combination of two ideas already put forth...fight back (when needed) and run like hell (also, when needed). Neither solution was always 100 percent effective, but I got to be pretty good at judging when to do what.

Talking to the teachers works somewhat, but the teachers aren't always around when you need them.  Unfortunately, I don't think there is a solution that will put an end to bullying. Someone somewhere is always going to pick on someone "smaller" than them just to make them feel big and/or important.
 
I personally just turned around one day and clocked my bully in the face. She didn't bother me again.

However, the zero tolerance policy in schools today means that you can't defend yourself, no matter how justified. So when a problem happened with one of my children that was totally appalling and ridiculous and unexpected and the school's response was inadequate,  I filed a police report, requested a restraining order, and called the state board of education and found the name of the person in charge of the funding the school receives for their anti-bullying program, which can be with-held from schools that do not cooperate with the program. She then came and talked to them and some education/surveying took place. Oh yeah, I also went on the local news program and commented on school safety.

The zero tolerance policy makes the good kids afraid to defend themselves because then they get a suspension on their record and it the case of a top student like mine, that can make the difference in whether they get accepted into a college with stringent requirements and tough competition to get in. I hate that stupid policy. I also hate it when there are teachers who refuse to step in and defend a kid because they don't want to get hurt. In my daughter's case, she is a petite little thing, honor student all the way and amazing person, and the person who grabbed and struck her was a football player (she didn't even know his name, we had to question people just to get that info for the report as the school wouldn't tell us because of PRIVACY POLICIES) who was mad that she didn't respond to his stupid attempts to get her attention and he finally blew when he tried to stroke her hair in class and she pushed his hand away.

So the solution according to me? Find where they get their money and find a way to have it cut off if they don't address the bullying problem in a suitable way. Do NOT send your kid back to school until agreeable safety measures are in place to keep your kid safe and have others on board helping to keep him/her safe. Personal alarms are a wonderful tool, as is never having the child go anywhere alone, knowing what routes they take to get to which classes, etc.. If you don't feel your kid is safe, GET THEM OUT. Never send a kid to school if you feel they are not safe from bullies. It's never worth the risk of having your child dead from suicide or at the hands of a bully. Nothing is worth that. Nobody who lost a kid ever thought it would go that far, but it did. Learn from them.

It's great to know self-defense, but it's not allowed to be used in schools that have a zero-tolerance policy and sometimes, there's just no way to beat a kid twice your size. There are many other ways to bully a kid anyhow, it's not just a physical violence problem. Name calling, constant teasing, starting horrible rumors, stealing their homework, lying to teachers or other adults and saying the kid did this or that, accusing them of being on drugs right before an important game or election and having the kid have to get pulled out of the game/election until they test negative...there's so many different ways a bully can drive another kid insane without ever laying a hand on them. (I work at a high school and see a lot)
 
I liked what my PE coach at my christian high school did, had the guys put on boxing gloves. It was usually settled after that. Bully had to stand alone and fight, none of his friends could help him.
 
4everfsu said:
I liked what my PE coach at my christian high school did, had the guys put on boxing gloves. It was usually settled after that. Bully had to stand alone and fight, none of his friends could help him.
Click to expand...

This was done in a private school I went to as a child with two boys who got in a fight. They gave them boxing gloves and they both stood there crying that they didn't want to fight anymore, but they were told "nope, you wanted to fight, now you fight."
Finally the pastor's kid took a swing and clocked the other kid in the face and it was over.

I don't remember them fighting anymore after that. Though my brothers did get the bright idea to have me and the asst. pastor's daughter put on boxing gloves and try it and I ended up accidentally elbowing her in the face, blood gushing all over.

That was sort of a messed up place, now that I think about it!

I almost got shot there too. The asst. pastor's son was hunting and I was on the other side of a field and saw him, he saw me and raised the gun, apparently thinking I was some sort of critter, so I dropped to the ground and started trying to crawl and hide, which only made him focus it on me so I jumped up and started waving and screaming and he about passed out when he realized what he almost did.

Maybe it was more than a little messed up. LOL Lots of free time and lack of proper supervision. Half the time we were just running around. New tiny little IFB place at the time, there were 9 of us that I remember, all in one room.

 
Solution: Lawyer up and go against the parents of the bullies and the Department of Education


As long as the DoE is controlled by the lawsuits of the parents of bullies, it is a lost cause.

How do you fix bullying in a school.system that is broken by society? Leave the school and let the bullies have the school to themselves.
 
I've taught my oldest son, he is seven, how to defend himself. He knows submission holds, ground and pound, and a little small joint manipulation. Before anyone gets in a tizzy, I have also coupled this with self control and having some wisdom to go along with it. He doesn't go looking for a fight, but if it comes to him.....he ain't no sissy boy.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top